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By Seth Tearz
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October 21, 2014 at 1:15 pm ET
Sources: San Francisco Bans More Than Just Lorde

1413910799_bannedRadio stations in San Francisco, following the direction from listeners, have banned Lorde’s “Royals” until the World Series ends. Like it matters. Kansas City Royals are going 12-0.

My sources in San Francisco have obtained a document, to be released prior to Game 1, of other Kansas City-related bans, which disillusioned Giants fans think will guide them to another championship. Here is a copy of said document. Click on the image to enlarge it.



In case it’s difficult to read, I’ve also typed out the letter for you below.


Re: Royals Ban list

October 21, 2014

Hey, guys. All of our calls, emails, faxes, letters and Tweets worked!!! We got that

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By David Chalk Landon Evanson
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October 21, 2014 at 12:04 am ET
Fall Classic: Chalk v. Lando

worldSeries14LogoWhen I reached out to Giants writer David Chalk about a point / counterpoint piece leading into Game 1 of the Fall Classic,¬†his response was¬†drenched in the sarcasm and disregard we’ve grown to know and love around the halls of B&C.

Honestly, I think¬†Chalk’s just upset that he knows the G-POPE (Barry Bonds)¬†wasn’t half the outfielder Lorenzo Cain is and he’s under the misguided notion that the Royals are but a bump in the road before the Giants take down their third title in five years.

And why not? Everyone else has overlooked Kansas City and look where that’s gotten them.

That said, I can’t help but remember the last time we squared off like this, I ended up writing ...

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By Bob Moffitt
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October 17, 2014 at 12:35 am ET
My Pick: Awesomeness

I’m honestly giddy about the World Series and why not? Two teams that have survived every nail-biting moment through the wild card game and then being the underdog in both the divisional series and the championship series. They beat some very good teams in every single way.

Here’s a brief handicap of the participants.

Kansas City Royals: score every way and any way, totally non-reliant on the home run, but have guys who hit mistakes. Team speed is better than the Giants and they are not afraid to run on anybody at any time. Benefit from home field advantage with the comfort of the designated hitter in four games out of seven, if the series lasts that long. Patient at ...

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By Patrick Smith
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October 15, 2014 at 10:34 pm ET
Orioles Lay An Egg in the ALCS.

broken-eggWhat can you say when you lose fair and square? When you’re so soundly beaten in every phase of something, you hardly know what hit you? What can you say?

I’d kind of like to be a bad sport about the Orioles’ puzzlingly sorry¬†performance against Kansas City in the ALCS. I’d like to make ugly jokes about the midwest and say something mean about corn.

I want to say Kansas City got every break. Every bloop found the grass, every ground ball found a hole. And every Oriole line drive was corralled by an outfield that surprised everyone.

I can’t, though. The Orioles didn’t even compete hard enough to warrant bad sportsmanship. They lost four straight and, after the 10-inning ...

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By Landon Evanson
October 15, 2014 at 7:16 pm ET
Crown taken

Gordon catch

oh we’ll laugh and tell stories

it will border on mythology

and we’ll tell reporters

we were so good

such a close knit team

we had such heart and character

– from Dan Quisenberry’s Ode to Dick Howser...

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By David Chalk
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October 15, 2014 at 11:10 am ET
Royals One Win Away From Right To Get Swept In World Series

MLB: ALCS-Baltimore Orioles at Kansas City RoyalsA TBS graphic earlier in this unwatchable 2014 ALCS had the perfect summation of what TBS is contractually obligated to broadcast.¬† The stat: the¬†2014 Royals¬†have won the most¬†consecutive playoff games to begin a postseason since — drumroll — the 2007 Rockies.

Nice to see that The Worst ALCS Ever is so perfectly analogous to The Worst NLCS Ever.

The only consolation for having to hear about two terrible flukey teams battling it out for a pennant, is that the AL series have been mercifully short and knowing that inevitably whoever wins will be exposed by a far superior team from the other league (hopefully, the Giants).

So savor these last few moments of “winning,” fans of the Royals and undeserving ...

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By Landon Evanson
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October 15, 2014 at 9:26 am ET
Lessons from Kauffman Stadium

MLB: AL Wild Card-Oakland Athletics at Kansas City RoyalsEleven years ago, I attended my first and only game at Kauffman Stadium. The Royals held a slim divisional lead on the Twins and there are few joys in baseball like supporting your team on the road. That’s not what stands out to me about that day, though.

It wasn’t that the park looked brand new though it had been built three decades earlier or that Carlos Beltran blasted a pair of towering homers or that Mike Difelice got ejected and threw a garbage container on the field. What I remember are the fans.

Sitting on the first base foul line and watching then-manager Tony Pena warming up his pitcher as the big screen in center field played highlights of ...

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By Patrick Smith
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October 12, 2014 at 12:27 am ET
Formerly Adorable Royals Ruining Everything
Jarrod Dyson's ALCS line: .000, CS 2.

Jarrod Dyson’s ALCS line: .000, CS 2.

This isn’t how it ends, is it? Cause if this is how it ends, I hate this movie. It’s been great since July, vanquishing mighty foes, building to a great crescendo, setting us up for the big payoff: the American League pennant or even the World Series title.

Now Kansas City is ruining everything. And when was the last time anyone said that? Playing about 10 miles over their own heads, the Royals have outhit, outpitched, outbullpenned, outran and outdefensed the Orioles, who have excelled in each of those categories since you were eating candy apples on the boardwalk last summer.

Ah, last summer. I’m pining for the days when¬†we could look at the ...

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By Landon Evanson
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October 11, 2014 at 10:37 pm ET
Halfway to the title

Six postseason games. Six wins. Somewhere Hampton Stevens still thinks Ali G is a good nickname for Alex Gordon. And Kansas City is on the verge of a World Series.

Halfway to the title...

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By Patrick Smith
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October 10, 2014 at 5:33 pm ET
Big Bad O’s vs. GeeWhiz Royals
The last time the Royals won anything, Joaquin Andujar melted down.

The last time the Royals won anything, Joaquin Andujar melted down.

It feels weird to hand the title of America’s Loveable Rooting Interest to Kansas City. The Orioles stunk for so long that, since they started winning in 2012, I felt Baltimore was entitled to all the feelgood stories.

But Kansas City? Whew. Talk about a drought. I watched the Royals’ last postseason game in my freshman dorm room. That, friends, was a long time ago. As I recall, Cardinal pitcher Joaquin Andujar lost his mind in that game and had to be peeled off home plate ump Don Denkinger.

Here we are, 29 years later. In 162 games, KC couldn’t catch Detroit in the AL Central this year. And ...

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