Bugs & Cranks Home
By Patrick Smith
No Comments
December 18, 2014 at 5:34 am ET
A Heartwarming Holiday Tale of Authorized Amphetamines
Apparently, all Davis had to do was ask for it.

Apparently, all Davis had to do was ask for it.

It’s the feelgood hit of the holiday season! In a Christmas miracle, baseball has approved Chris Davis’s use of Adderall for the 2015 O’s campaign. God bless us, everyone!

We all know it: Davis got suspended for the month of September, the postseason and opening day of next season for taking Adderall without MLB approval.

DAVIS: “So, MLB, may I please take Adderall next season?”

MLB: “Yes, Chris. You may.”

That’s it?! That’s all it took? Just asking them? Jeez. Maybe you might’ve thought of that back in August.

Buck Showalter told the MidAtlantic Sports Network the other day that, while playing golf with Davis in Texas recently, Davis told ...

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By Duke Jackson
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December 16, 2014 at 6:14 am ET
Nationals Enjoy the Calm Before the $torm

imrsCaptureOn Monday afternoon, a New York judge granted a rather minor discovery motion in favor of MASN, the television network which owns the broadcast rights to Washington Nationals games and is majority controlled by the Baltimore Orioles. Unfortunately, the motion was granted against the wishes of Major League Baseball (MLB) and the Washington Nationals. Unfortunately (again), the Baltimore Orioles are owned by perhaps one of the greatest American litigators of all-time: Peter G. Angelos (a.k.a., “Vigo“).

While this was a rather minor victory for MASN, the television network has enjoyed a number of them regarding this matter, and these wins further set the stage for what will likely become a major legal battle between Mr. Angelos, the Nationals, and MLB. ...

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By Keith Good
1 Comment
December 12, 2014 at 9:20 pm ET
The stones to gather Moss

Brandon-MossI tried–and failed–to acquire Brandon Moss this past fantasy season. With Jose Abreu on the DL, I offered Hanley Ramirez and Cincinnati Pitcher Mike Leake in trade for Oakland’s 1B/OF. The opposing manager bent space time and rejected my offer at speeds faster than light. My thought at the time was, “Wow… Some fool will have to show quad aces to win Moss.”

Imagine my surprise when Cleveland acquired Moss in trade from Oakland for INF prospect Joey Wendle.

Wait… Joey who?

Once you get past the shock of swapping an All-Star for a no-name, the trade makes perfect sense. Billy Beane gets to go full Billy Beane, shedding payroll for high-upside, low-cost prospects. Cleveland gets left handed pop tailor-made ...

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By Steve St. Angelo
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December 10, 2014 at 3:23 pm ET
Not for (Fire) Sale

No, you cannot have Nolan Arenado.
No. No, no, no and no.

Yes, the Rockies are awful. But this is the type of transcendent ballplayer you build a better team around.

No, you cannot have Corey Dickerson.
No. No, no, no and no.

For the same stinking reason. You seen this guy rake? Wait till he grows up and learns to lay off balls that bounce 10 feet in front of home plate. (In Dickerson’s defense, he clobbers his share of those.)

No, you cannot have Justin Morneau.

No. No, no, no and not even if 2014 was something of a fluke. He’s the rudder of this ship. If anyone can help turn it around …

Look, these are the ...

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By Paul Czarnowski
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December 10, 2014 at 2:48 pm ET
The Passion of the Konerko: A 1-Act Play
Don Cooper, as himself.

Don Cooper, as himself.

Here’s a one act play you can put on for your friends!

Cast: Don Cooper, White Sox Pitching Coach

Jeff Samardzija, one-time Cub and Athletic

Setting: office in White Sox spring training facility. Desk, two chairs, DON COOPER is already sitting behind the desk.

Light up

[sound effect – knocking]

 

COOPER: Come in.
[Samardzija enters, we will figure out from which side of the stage once we get to dress rehearsal]

 

SAMARDZIJA:  Hey Coach Cooper. You, uh, ask for me?
COOPER: Jeff, Jeff Samardzija, welcome.
SAMARDZIJA: Well, I’m glad I’m solidifying a good rotation and am backed by Zack Duke and David Robertson. And with guys on this team who might achieve consistent batting ...

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By Scott Fendley
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December 10, 2014 at 1:51 am ET
Have We Missed THE Story?

why-is-yawning-contagious01The Baseball Winter Meetings, in this age of agent-and-PR controlled media circuses?

Yawn.

Even the trades are engineered in such a way that it’s very cold, calculated and cruel.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s great for the game that the players are getting their fair share of the Monopoly Money the game is making. There’s a shit-ton of people in the seats almost everywhere (at least tickets sold, so the season tickets weasles have earned their bonuses). The ‘small market’ teams are now competing just as well as the big boys if they are competent and smart. Which means the Twins and the Rockies need to WAKE THE HELL UP! and do something right except moaning and groaning and trying ...

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By Landon Evanson
2 Comments
December 9, 2014 at 10:06 pm ET
How much do I hate the White Sox?

When the White Sox won the World Series in 2005 I had a flight with a layover at O’Hare, so I wore nothing but Cubs gear to remind everyone that Chicago is a Cubs town and that no one really cared that the South Siders had taken the crown.

When Jesse Crain left the Twins to sign with the enemy I actually said “You motherfucker!” out loud.

And today when I found out that Dave Robertson and Jeff Samaradzija are now White Sox, I cringed. Actually, it was more like…

Look, I can live with the growing pains required to go where the Twins are going, I really can. That does not mean I wouldn’t rather chew broken glass than take the White ...

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By Patrick Smith
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December 7, 2014 at 10:59 pm ET
Because the St.Louis Browns Aren’t Hiring: Duquette Kicks the Tires on Toronto Job

dan-duquette-mlb-baltimore-orioles-boston-red-soxLife’s hard in Baltimore. We couldn’t even enjoy today’s Ravens win over the Dolphins. In the second quarter, I looked at my phone and saw that exec VP of Orioles baseball Dan Duquette was all but gone, taking flight for Toronto to replace outgoing Blue Jays president Paul Beeston.

By the end of the football game, rumors were still alive, but now thankfully included a few other candidates – namely the Twins’ Terry Ryan and the White Sox’s Ken Williams.

Because the line forms way over there, buddy, to be the president of a Canadian team that plays in the second-worst ballpark in baseball, on the worst turf in baseball and that hasn’t seen the postseason since the first year ...

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By Seth Tearz
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December 7, 2014 at 3:14 am ET
‘Twas the Night Before the Winter Meetings

 

sandy-alderson-mlb-winter-meetings-850x560

 

‘Twas the night before the Winter Meetings, when all through San Diego
not a GM was stirring, especially not Jerry Dipoto.
Hotel suites were booked and stashed with candy and booze,
as front offices edit 2 a.m. wish lists – they can cross off Nelson Cruz.

 

The agents were nestled all snug in their beds,
while commission checks and Teslas danced in their heads.
Though Giancarlo’s agent, snugged in his wrap,
already settled in for a ten-year nap.

 

When out in the lobby there arose such a clatter,
the reporters ran wild to see what was the matter.
Away from the bar did Bob Nightengale dash,
he pecked at his smart phone, the Yankees are dropping ...

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By Landon Evanson
1 Comment
December 3, 2014 at 5:03 pm ET
Feeling torn

HunterFor years I had hoped that Torii Hunter would finish his career with the Twins. But to be honest, I was surprised that the five-time All-Star signed with Minnesota yesterday.

Not surprised that the Twins would want him, because Hunter has long held the reputation of tough leadership, playing the game the right way and producing on the field. And let’s face it, even though Hunter’s power has declined and he’s no longer the Gold Glove outfielder he once was, 17 homers and 83 RBI on aged legs is still an upgrade at the plate and in the corner pastures than the Twins had a year ago.

Which is to say nothing of the effect Hunter will undoubtedly have on ...

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