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May 1, 2008 at 11:19 am ET
Things You Can Say at Shea, But Not While Having Sex

Thanks to the fine readers of this site, and the greater blogosphere, Wednesday’s post took off pretty well. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to be lazy for one more day and continue the theme while I finish slightly more intelligent pieces. Today’s list: Things you can say at Shea Stadium, but not while having sex. Enjoy…

  1. “Two footlongs, please.”
  2. “That’s my Willie!”
  3. “There’s plenty of foul territory down here.”
  4. “Free entry with two cans of Pepsi.”
  5. “Chris Rock was in here earlier.”
  6. “I’m stuck up in the mezzanine.”
  7. “Carlos showed off his five tools last night.”
  8. “He roped one with that smooth stroke of his.”
  10. “I’m only here till the nicer one opens next door.”
  11. “Johan likes a well-groomed mound.”
  12. “How many people have snuck in through this exit?”
  13. “Wagner finally blew one the other day.”
  14. “I’m not coming until the fourth inning, when my buddy gets off.”
  15. “I have to wait in line to pee in there?”
  16. “After the game, I’ll show you the big landing strip.”
  17. “Do it Wright!”
  18. “He’s short, has curly hair and answers to ‘Pedro’.”
  19. “Good intro music.”
  20. “I could hit that.”

Back with a real post soon.

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8 Responses to “Things You Can Say at Shea, But Not While Having Sex”
  1. Zoe says:

    Haaa, okay I kinda wish I didn’t find this so funny. And I’m only being cheeky when I say that the first one isn’t completely off the list.

  2. Jeff says:

    “I’ll take a footlong and a bag of hot nuts, and if I finish that can you give me some yogurt for dessert?”

  3. ill says:


  4. bryan says:

    Hey, get a load of this guy.


  5. becca says:

    “Keep the waves coming.”

    “He slid in fast and hard.”

    “He likes to come in from over the top.”

    “Castillo swings both ways.”

    “Bring it low and inside.”

    “Sweet cotton candy!!”

  6. Drano says:

    “Don’t be nervous, baby – just think of a John Franco outing.”

  7. dave says:


  8. pools says:

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