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May 22, 2009 at 1:38 pm ET
Things You’ll Never Hear at Citi Field

2008_2_citifieldA while back, I compiled a list of things you’d never hear at the gone-but-not-too-fondly-remembered Shea Stadium. It was a pretty silly idea, but then again,  this is a site that made its name through a post about wearing a fitted cap soaking wet, so who am I to judge?

Anyway, nearly two months into the inaugural season at Citi Field, I felt it was time to revisit the idea for the Mets’ new digs.  I give to you…

Things you’ll never hear at Citi Field

  • “Where can I find something to eat?”
  • “Enjoy your stay, compliments of Mr. Madoff.”
  • “I can’t see the video screen.”
  • “I come to see the Mets – I stay for the eco-friendly waterless urinals.”
  • “…just make a left at the Danny Heep Memorial.”
  • “Nice catch, Murph!”
  • “What’s Johan gonna do with that eight run lead?”
  • “Wait – who sponsors this place again?”
  • “Bring the entire family.”
  • “Oh, that’s the new apple. I thought that thing on Beltran’s ear grew during the offseason.”
  • “Ryan? It’s Jerry. Let’s grab a mojito after work.”
  • “Subtle…”
  • “Perez enters the fifth inning…”
  • “Jackie who?”
  • “Check out all this cash in my pocket!”
  • “The gourmet frites with herb mayo are dope, son.”
  • “The fans are giving a nice round of applause to the injured Shane Victorino.”
  • “We’re really excited about our young prospects.”

Your turn, everyone. Go.

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6 Responses to “Things You’ll Never Hear at Citi Field”
  1. “Sure kids, you can sit in these empty field level seats”

    “Ain’t our owners swell”

    “That Beltran is a real pepper pot”

    “Where was Fred Wilpon born”?

    “WOW look at all those banners, the place looks like the Boston Garden”

    “7 bucks for a Budwieser? what a deal”

  2. josh says:

    “the mets are world champions of baseball”

  3. Drano says:

    “You know, it turns out that 2 family bathrooms really ARE enough for 45,000 people!”

  4. Drano says:

    “Those foul poles should be high enough to handle just about any foreseeable situation.”

    “I miss the water damage in the old Diamond Club.”

  5. Dirty Water says:

    “I miss Ramon Castro”

  6. Tom Gallagher says:

    “Wow. I had no idea the Giants were such an important part of NY Baseball history.”

Leave a Reply

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