April 30, 2008 at 10:01 am ET
Things You’ll Never Hear at Shea
The following things will never be said by anyone visiting Shea Stadium this season:
- “I love the Flushing skyline.”
- “Yes, that’s urine, but from which borough?”
- “I think Pedro’s pitching tonight.”
- “How is your merlot?”
- “Ralph Kiner remembered me.”
- “Sosa brought his A-game.”
- “Mr. Met touched me in a bad place.”
- “Yeah, that burger’s definitely Angus.”
- “They’re out of Kevin Elster throwbacks.”
- “The alcohol-free section is full.”
- “Who are those attractive women on the sausage line?”
- “This year, let’s see what we can do to an 8-game lead…”
- “Where’s Rickey?”
- “Welcome home, Tim McCarver!”
- “No moving down, these are our assigned seats.”
- “Where are all the Hispanic players?”
- “Billy Joel is a Mets fan at heart.”
- “I hope they hit Cow Bell Man with a rocket launched t-shirt.”
- “Next year is now.”
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