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October 10, 2007 at 7:52 pm ET
Carlos Zambrano Day

Zambrano's one stop book tour had it all.That’s right, fans! If you happened to be vacationing in Pilsen today (who wasn’t?), you were treated to the finest holiday the world had to offer: Carlos Zambrano Day. There was a lot to do at Big Z day, not the least of which was to have Big Z sign a copy of the book he must have slaved over all season long. There is no truth to the rumor it is written in crayon, as Big Z’s main man Pedro Miranda did the writing. Here’s a highlight of the festivities:

8:00 — Big Z pancake breakfast — Carlos can down pancakes like a man, but refused to drink any water during breakfast. Scheduled guest Eric Patterson overslept.

9:00 — Big Z money counting party — Who can count to 91 million the fastest? Congratulations to Lucas Torres of Palatine for making Jim Hendry’s day by counting every last dollar!

10:00 — Michael Barrett Pinatas — Michael Barrett not in attendance, but kids took bats to his pinata likeness with lessons from Big Z! Koyie Hill took a few swings but eventually struck out looking.

11:00 — Bat breaking — Oh, the kids loved this one! Wee ones practiced striking out on breaking balls then angrily trying to break bats over their knees. Don’t call in child abuse for knee bruises this week!

12:00 — How to destroy a buffet, with special guest Daryle Ward – Nothing puts the fear into the Old Country Buffet like Big Z and Big D walking up the sidewalk. They demonstrated how they dive into the postgame spread. (Note: this is the only diving they ever do)

1:00 — Hibernation — After a big meal, who isn’t tired? Big Z taught youngsters how to sleepwalk through all of April and sometimes the beginning of May!

2:00 — Mound Celebrations — You don’t get dubbed a fiery Latino just by being Latino — you have to dance! Kids practiced screaming at umpires, childish antics and strikeout gestures with the master!

3:00 — Instant Messaging! – How do you keep in touch will all your fans without vigorously using a computer? Big Z gave kids lessons on aggressive IMing. Note: not for the easily injured (Mark Prior).

3:42 — Carlos Zambrano Day pulled before its regularly scheduled time in order to save Big Z for next week’s Carlos Zambrano Extravaganza.

Whew! Big Z Day was a blast, and the kids learned a ton. Can’t wait until next year!

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2 Responses to “Carlos Zambrano Day”
  1. Chicago Jones says:

    Dear Bugs & Cranks,
    Pilsen is not a town, but a neighborhood in Chicago. Its restaurants feature great carne asada and other Mexican delicacies.

  2. Don says:

    Yeah, funny article, but it is kind of lame to blow it right out of the gate by not realizing Pilsen is a part of Chicago.

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