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July 12, 2007 at 11:10 pm ET
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Shop Chicago!

Kenny's having a sale!  Midwesterners love themselves a good sale. They show up in droves at rummage sales, auctions, estate sales, and sometimes pick through stuff at a funeral if people aren’t looking too closely. Trust me, I’ve been one of them for most of my life — it’s a hereditary aptitude for buying other people’s junk.

The sale will undoubtedly unfold soon at Kenny’s Place on the South Side of Chicago. And oh, does he ever have some junk!   Kenny insists he’s not going to have a sale, but who’s he really kidding.  Here’s a look at the stuff he’s going to be hawking for the next few weeks as other GMs look to pick up some spare pieces for a run at the postseason.

The Free Table

Juan Uribe, SS – Remember the great plays he made in the World Series in ’05? Neither does anyone else, because most Sox fans seem to want Uribe out of town faster than Ozzie can say #%$&. With off-field troubles and a questionable glove, there’s not a lot of teams that will be willing to part with anything useful for a shortstop that’s hitting .232.

Joe Crede, 3B — He’s not going to play the rest of the year and he’ll be a free agent after the 2008 season, so yeah…free would about cover it.  Teams looking for a postseason run won’t be looking, but a team might look to pick him up for cheap for 2008, since the Sox seem committed to Josh Fields.

Toby Hall, C — Well, they can’t trade for Sandy Alomar, Jr. this year, so I’m sure Kenny’s having some sort of withdrawl. That said, for any team that needs a catcher that’s slugging .209, I’m sure the Sox would part with Toby. Maybe he could get Sandy back, somehow.

Clearance Rack

Tadihito Iguchi, 2B — Tad’s had a dissapointing season, but so has most everyone elseon the south side. He’s a free agent after the season and would be a significant upgrade for a few teams in the middle infield. That said, he’s probably a rental so he won’t bring much value for 3 months of service during a down year.

Jose Contreras, SP — What contending team couldn’t use more pitching? Contreras is 5-10 with a terrible ERA, but he’s got veteran experience and it’s certain that some teams will be interested at the right price. The “right price” is probably a couple of mid-level prospects at this point.

There's gotta be something useful in here somewhere...Rob Mackowiak, Utility — The Mack Attack is the type of guy that always seems to get traded aroud the deadline. He can play any position and is a solid veteran presence in the clubhouse. He’s a great backup for most teams, except the Sox, where he someone finds his way on the field almost every day.

David Aardsma/Matt Thornton/Boone Logan/Nick Masset/Andrew Sisco, RP – The Sox were trying their best for the “Wild Thing” Bullpen, and that’s about what they got. These guys can light up the radar guns, but their opponents have lit up the scoreboards. Still, everyone’s looking for an arm around the break.

Silent Bid

Jermaine Dye, OF — Despite a disappointing season, plenty of teams will still be interested in Dye as a rental. He’s a free agent after the season so the White Sox will part with him for the right deal. However, Dye’s lackluster performance (.214 avg) may scare some teams and the Sox may simply take their draft picks when Dye becomes a free agent after the season. It’s hard to believe this is the same guy that many thought should have won the MVP last year with .320/44/120. If he shows his 2006 self in the next few weeks, he could move, but otherwise the Sox may be better off with the picks or re-signing Dye at a discount.

Javier Vazquez, SP — With a reasonable contract, playoff experience, and a good first half, Javier Vazquez may be the biggest chip that’s on Kenny’s block now that Buerhle’s under contract. The Sox don’t have to trade him, but if they hope to bring anything useful to rebuild with, they’ll have to part with one of their starters and Javy’s the logical choice.

By Special Request

Bobby Jenks, CL — The team’s lone all-star is a pretty safe bet to stay in Chicago, but if a team coughed up a couple of top prospects, Kenny would sure listen.

Jon Garland, SP — A free agent after next year, Garland will probably require a 4-year contract with some pretty hefty dollars to stay in town after next year.  If the Sox want a big haul in return, Garland’s name will come up.  If not, guess what we’ll all get to hear about all next year?

Jim Thome, DH — Jim has a no-trade clause and seems pretty happy in Chi-town so it would take some sweet-talking to get a deal done. Thome’s 36, though, and might be willing to listen to offers to move to a contender.

Whew…I love shopping! While 2007 doesn’t smack of the White Flag trade of the mid-1990s, expect plenty of action at Kenny’s Sale over the next few weeks. Maybe they could stop across town, too…there’s a used up Jacque Jones for sale.

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