Devil Rays Manager “Coach Joe” Maddon was named American League Manager Of The Year, but one bag of sour assholes kept it from being unanimous by voting instead for Minnesota skipper Ron Gardenhire.
I demand a full investigation.
And when we find the bag who is responsible, he should not only forfeit his rights to write about baseball or anything else, but should be sterilized and have both of his hands cut off.
Now I know there’s probably one or two namby-pambies reading this who think this is either a little extreme or that I’m resorting to hyperbole. That’s bullshit. I’m a writer, and I would certainly hold myself to the same standards. If I ever fucked anything up in my professional capacity as a writer so badly as to vote Gardenhire 1 and Maddon 2 on this year’s AL MOY ballot, then by all means, cut off my hands because obviously I can’t be trusted to wipe my own ass.
Maybe someone else wants to come at this with Cam’s argument that all awards are bullshit. (You remember the argument that goes: “Individual honors are complete crap. Why? Because baseball writers tend to have their own definitions (and disqualifiers) for each award.”
Am I the only one who thinks that’s un-American. (Are we not allowed to say that anymore since Obama won?) What that involves voting doesn’t have some measure of subjectivity? Maybe we should just stop playing baseball because there’s too much subjectivity in umpire’s strike zones.
Maybe you could pull that shit for some awards when there’s multiple deserving candidates or if there aren’t really any deserving candidates.Ã‚Â But that just ain’t the case here.
Joe Maddon as American League Manager Of The Year is so obvious that, by any rational and/or objective standards, he is the only person deserving of the award. To argue otherwise, and especially to vote otherwise, is to certify that you are incapable of wiping your own ass.
I also think that it was a joke that Scioscia finished third since his team received a regular season bye. My card would’ve been Maddon 1, Gardenhire 2, Ozzie 3, Tito 4, Cito 5, Girardi & Scioscia tied for 6.
Let’s close with mlb.com’s wrap of Maddon’s deservingness, with my emphasis added:
Despite a payroll that ranked 29th out of 30 Major League teams, Maddon led the Devil Rays to their first winning season with an AL East-best record of 97-65 to break the previous club record by 27 wins. In doing so, the Devil Rays improved their record by 31 games over 2007, which made for the third-best improvement in AL history, earning Tampa Bay a spot in the World Series. In addition, under Maddon’s guidance, the 2008 Devil Rays became the first AL team to go from the worst record in the Major Leagues to the postseason.
Maddon became the fourth manager in Devil Rays history on Nov. 15, 2005. In three seasons, he has compiled a 224-262 (.461) record, which is tops among Devil Rays managers. His record at home as Rays manager is 135-108 (.555). On Aug. 23, Maddon became the Devil Rays’ all-time leader in victories with 206.
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