Last Thursday, before the ALCS began, we found news footage that the Glorious Ladies Of Devil Ray Town had risen to the challenge and started getting mohawks to the South to support our beloved Devil Rays.
The next day, we found someone in Boston had issued a copycat call to vaginal arms for the women of Red Sox “Nation.”
One Red Sox writer, T.J. Donegan of Boston sportZ Dot Com, went even further, invoking Winston Churchill’s famous call for British vaginas to stand up to the evil threat of Nazism:
In the words of Winston Churchill: we’ll fight them in the trenches, on the beaches, high above the labial folds.
For a few moments this weekend, it looked like the Boston vaginas might have turned the tide of the Rayvolution.
But come on — calling on Winston Churchill? Going bald? These are the actions of a fading dynasty desperate to keep alive a past that has passed them by.
Kind of like tossing out 42-year-old impotent has-beens like Mike Timlin and Tim Wakefield to face the virile and potent young studs of our Devil Rays offense.
Kind of like closing your eyes, putting your fingers to your lips and trying to pretend that Jason Bay is Manny Ramirez.
The Rayvolution is the glorious present and the glorious future. In the next few days all the world will see the power and the glory of our beloved Devil Rays and The Glorious Women Of Devil Ray Town.