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April 13, 2009 at 1:21 pm ET
Camden Yards Has A Strict No Cowbell Policy

A few quick observations from my immensely enjoyable Easter Sunday visit to Oriole Park at Camden Yards, aka Tropicana North:

The Cowbell Incident

I believe it was when the Devil Rays loaded the bases in the top of the second that I heard that beautiful mellifluous sound that brings joy to every heart in Devil Ray Town.テつ However in Birdland it only struck fear, jealousy and facistic abuse of power into the hearts of Camden Yards security.テつ I heard one usher say he had previously warned the fan not to use the cowbell, a miniature baby blue finger cowbell.テつ Seconds later the gentleman in the blue Devil Rays hat was being hovered over by some official douchebag in an orange jacket.テつ What are we in Russia? I shouted to no avail. I hope the Cowbell Kid reads this and notifies the Maryland chapter of the American Cowbell Liberties Union pronto.

Carl Crawford swiftly struck a blow against fascism with a 3-run triple to get the Devil Rays on the board against former Phillies fan favorite Adam Eaton.

The four tiny voices squeaking Eva.

Besides myself and Mr. Cowbell, the most spirited fans in a very sparsely attended Easter Sunday matinee were a family of eight Red Sox fans.テつ The children in the party, while taller than Dustin Pedroia, thought it was cute to chant Eva.テつ While I’ve been to minor league games with more fans in the stands and E-Love might have been able to hear them, four lonely voices aren’t real intimidating.テつ Especially not when Longoria’s going 3-for-4 with a double and a HR for the second time this week.テつ Why were the Sox fans there?テつ Apparently because BU was in the Frozen Four, which was played in DC, which has to be at least an 8-hour drive from any college that has a hockey team.

Scoreboard Operator Beaten Into Submission.

Not only did I get to see the superrare treat of a Jason Bartlett HR to straightaway centerfield, when Longoria homered to make it 10-0 the Orioles jumbotron operator seemed to give up on the game.テつ El Gato Del Crimen Carlos Pena, the next batter, also homered to make it 11-0, but through his at-bat and most of Pat “The Bat” Burrell’s, Longoria’s picture and stats were still up on the screen behind centerfield.

Historic Precedent

Every year that I’ve gone to see the Devil Rays beat the Orioles at Camden Yards with TMOTMCC James Shields the winning pitcher, the Devil Rays have gone on to win the pennant.

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5 Responses to “Camden Yards Has A Strict No Cowbell Policy”
  1. Ronald Ray Gun says:

    I’m pretty certain that they’re the “Rays” now.

  2. Brett says:

    Ronald must be new here….

  3. 2 out of 3 says:

    How’d losing two out of three taste?

  4. J-Ray says:


    I got kicked out of Fenway park during the ALCS game four last year, for using my cowbell. I was not drunk. I was not disorderly. The guard demanded my bell–I promised not to use it again, but before I knew it, I was being hauled out by the cops. I did nothing wrong, they just could not stand the cowbell (or losing).

    Two observations:

    1. Bostonians are terrible sports. Really, they are arrogant and ignorant about any other teams but their own. Good thing we taught them a thing or two about the Rays last year!!!

    2. Don’t bring cowbells to other stadiums. They just won’t allow it. They should, no doubt, but they won’t.

  5. Stacey says:

    1) Cowbells are obnoxious.

    2) There are always a lot of Red Sox fans at Camden Yards, even when the Red Sox aren’t there. It’s like an infestation.

    3) Nothing I love more than taunting a man by calling him by a ladies name. What an insult!

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