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December 11, 2008 at 2:31 pm ET
Devil Rays Acquire Kitten Rescuer For IMOA

The new kid....I was always a big fan of IMOA Edwin Jackson, and I won’t forget how he stepped up in April and kept the Devil Rays in it while they were waiting for Kaz.

But he’s been traded to Detroit for this young outfielder Matt Joyce and everything sounds good.

Decent power, good fielder, and perhaps most importantly, he’s got character. He’s basically the Anti-Giambi.

Bless You Boys tells me Joyce rescued a kitten last year:

With rain forcing the Tigers inside for batting practice, they were in the cage when someone heard the sounds of a cat’s meow. Matt Joyce grabbed a chair, took a look above the cage and found a black kitten tangled in the wires and cables of the stadium.

Joyce and some teammates took the kitten into the clubhouse and fed it, then Tigers personnel found an animal rescue program to help out.

That’s the kind of guy I want on my team, not some big pussy like Jason Giambi.

I have no doubt that if Giambi thought it would help him pad his stats, Giambi would snap a kitten’s neck with his bare ogrelike hands and drink every last drop of its blood.

He would deny it for years, then eventually quasi-admit it and rat out other kittenbloodsuckers among his peers and grow a mustache and act like he was a fucking saint.

That said, Edwin Jackson you were awesome and won’t be forgotten. Welcome to Devil Ray Town, Matt Joyce.

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3 Responses to “Devil Rays Acquire Kitten Rescuer For IMOA”
  1. BigReg1544 says:

    WOW!!! Amazing venom for Giambi!! Did he pee in your apple jacks once upon a time?

  2. David Chalk David Chalk says:

    What’s amazing to me is how light Giambi gets off. Why is that? Because he had the decency not to break any records? The mustache? The pinstripes? Or just cause he’s white?

  3. FrankDiscussion says:

    Chalk, I’d be the first person to agree with you in that Barry Bonds was / continues to be treated unfairly regards the whole steroids scandal. I think the manner in which MLB handled him breaking the record was reprehensible. That being said, how is any of that relevant when it concerns Giambi ? His testimony to the Grand Jury was truthful. When it was leaked, Giambi faced the music. Should he have been punished ? Should the Yankees have voided his contract ? Probably, but they didn’t. Is there a degree of racism in the manner in which Bonds was treated ? Yes, but I fail to see how that reflects back on Jason Giambi. I understand you don’t want him as a Devil Ray, and there certainly are valid reasons for that. (Although as long as he doesn’t play 1st base you might be alright.) I simply don’t think his character is one of them.

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