As you may have heard certain supposed MVP-caliber Red Sox who had no business representing Team USA have predictably quit on the tournament because of minor vaginal injuries. Same with Chipper Jones.
But there is still hope for America. Unanimous 2008 AL Rookie Of The Year Evan Longoria is coming to the rescue, joining the team for this weekend’s semifinal in Dodger Stadium.
This is great news not just for America and Devil Ray Town, but for THE WORLD.
How excited is THE WORLD?
Well if the Twitter of M. Jeff “Glo” Blair, General sports columnist, CANADA’s National Newspaper is any F’in indication, PRETTY F’IN EXCITED.
M. Blair has been in Florida covering the Blue Jays pretend games this spring:
After a couple of weeks down here, I don’t like Obama’s chances of cleaning up this mess! Not at all!
But even M. Blair is creaming his whatever-type-pants-they-wear-in-Canada (sans-culottes?) over E-Love’s late entry into the tournament:
Evan Longoria just agreed to replace Chipper Jones on Team USA for the WBC! That’s huge! That’s a lift for the tourney’s rep! Longoria’s the bomb! He just is!
Imagine how psyched THE WORLD would be if we could just get rid of Jeter (herpes flare-up?) and replace him with MVP Jason Bartlett….
In other world news, Lloyd The Barber feels Canadians have been downright bigoted in their recent treatment of Chipper “White Devil Larry” Jones.