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March 18, 2009 at 12:03 am ET
J.C. Romero Ain’t S#!t Without His Steroids

(Aside: Does Guiness always taste better out of a plastic cup, or only on St. Patrick’s Day?)

As I caught the 9th inning of Tuesday’s USA-Puerto Rico elimination game, I was all ready to write another installment of Yankees: World Baseball Failures as Derek Jeter continued to s#!t the bed on the world stage, but then a perhaps even greater poetic justice happened.

J.C. Romero, the World’s Biggest Cheater, who had no business pitching in the World Baseball Classic since ehe’s suspended from the first 50 games of the MLB regular season as an EXTREMELY belated penalty for twice testing positive LAST SEASON for extremely naughty performance enhancing STEROID-type DRUGS, suddenly without his extremely naughty performance enhancing STEROID-type DRUGS couldn’t get anybody out and ended up as the LOSING PITCHER.

If there’s any doubt that Romero legitimately could have been the winning pitcher in TWO World Series games he had no business being in WITHOUT the enhancement of extremely naughty performance enhancing STEROID-type DRUGS — there shouldn’t be any more.テつ CASE CLOSED.テつ ASTERISK.テつ RESET. ASTERISK.

And that the winning RBI came off the bat of Phillies nemesis David Wright?テつ Philadelphia is obviously so fucking cursed.テつ Y’all thought 25 years was bad — wait till you get a taste of some Cleveland McCubs shit now.

Thus to all extremely naughty performance enhancing STEROID-type DRUGS cheaters.

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9 Responses to “J.C. Romero Ain’t S#!t Without His Steroids”
  1. Chalk says:

    Yes, i realize that the majority of the posts on the B&C front page for the moment are mine… but as an extra special St. Patty’s Day TEASER for our loyal fans/readers, I can tell you that….

    B&C 2.0 will usually feature NO MORE than ONE Chalk post per front page, and AT MOST dos, two, due, a pair.

    Hope that makes the Jameson go down easier for everybody. Go Devil Rays!

  2. bikewobble says:

    he also let two fightins score in the inning. nasty K on big mac, and that’s all he’s supposed to do anyway.

  3. Err, you do realize he wasn’t using roids, right? Different substance.

    Second in facts too.

  4. meech.one says:

    James, let him go. He’s in a zone!

    Alls I know is Charlie Manuel would’ve yanked him after he K’d Brian McCann to end the eighth.

  5. matt_T says:

    small sample size.

  6. Chad says:

    Chalk, no one cares about the top Rays ever, or who you think the Rays are better than. I was going to comment about how this is supposed to be insightful and/or humorous content, but then I reread your piece (of shit). That WAS funny!

  7. If you aren’t taking steroids, you aren’t trying. World Fucking Champions.

  8. Robert says:

    Shut up Chalk, you lost, get over it. We’re sick of you hyping up a team that lost, so be a good little boy and die.

  9. Argive says:


    Notice that “Major League Baseball never said Romero tried to cheat” just that he has “been found guilty of negligence.” Taking a supplement that produces a false positive for a steroid is different than receiving said steroid in the mail and injecting yourself with it. MLB isn’t accusing Romero of having done the latter. MLB and the players’ association screwed up and left Romero holding the bag.

    Whatever, I’m taking this way too seriously.

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