Jeff Pearlman, si.com columnist and author of the Roger Clemens biography Ă˘â‚¬Ĺ“The Rocket That Fell to Earth,Ă˘â‚¬Âť dropped this tantalizing morsel on his personal website blog:
YouĂ˘â‚¬â„˘re at a bar, doing shots with Carlos Pena. He vomits on the tavern owner and is beaten up by 10 bouncersĂ˘â‚¬â€ťwho also kick your ass.
Whoa!Ă‚Â Shocking, right?Ă‚Â Pena, the Devil Rays star slugger affectionately known as El Gato Del Crimen, seems way too straightlaced for that to be true.
Well, it’s probably not true, because the context was a post explainingĂ‚Â why Pearlman feels that if if “youĂ˘â‚¬â„˘re a beat writer, you donĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t roll socially with those you cover. Never. Ever. Ever.”
Still, it seems like every hypothetical has a little truth behind it, so I have a theory as to who the real tavern-owner-vomiter-onner might be.Ă‚Â Pearlman continues right after the Pena bit with:
YouĂ˘â‚¬â„˘re at a bar, doing shots with Carlos Pena. He vomits on the tavern owner and is beaten up by 10 bouncersĂ˘â‚¬â€ťwho also kick your ass. Do you write about it? YouĂ˘â‚¬â„˘re at a dance club, grooving with David Wright, and he hooks up with Madonna. Do you write about it?
David Wright has never been linked with Madonna.Ă‚Â But the third baseman for that other New York team has.Ă‚Â Pattern?Ă‚Â Who’s the first baseman for that other Florida team?
Jorge Cantu!? Jorge Cantu, you didn’t? I guess it explains the “dizzy spells” that kept Cantu out of the lineup earlier in the month.
Mr. Pearlman was kind enough to respond to an email I sent him and, as I would expect him to, denies the Pena line has any basis in reality.Ă‚Â Anyone not convinced?