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May 1, 2009 at 1:24 am ET
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Kentucky Derby Special: Vaguely Equine Ballplayers

Dude I don’t know whose idea it was to have bottomless Maker’s mint juleps at Thursday’s B&C staff meeting, but the end result is this festive post.

The minty, bourbon soaked idear: a Kentucky Derby tie-in piece — it’s this Saturday y’all! — who would be baseball’s versions of John “Mr. Ed” Elway? Who in baseball looks a lot like horses?

Surprisingly there were responses. Generally it seemed easier to think of guys who looked like shaved Ewoks or other animals than horses, per se, but this is the best the ten of us and our mint juleps could manage.

horse1

  • Jeff Brantley (1988-2001, Giants/Reds/Cardinals/Phillies/Rangers)
  • A horse
  • Charles ‘Togie’ ‘Horseface’ Pettinger (1900-1907, Beaneaters/Phillies)

I found Pettinger by Google image searching “baseball horseface” and scrolling through page after page of Sarah Jessica Parker photos.

horse2

  • Tom Gorzelanny (currently playing for the Pirates AAA affiliate)
  • A horse
  • Jack Wilson (current Pirate, on the DL)

horse3

  • Don Mossi (1954-1965, Cleveland/Tigers/White Sox/A’s)
  • A horse
  • Derrick Turnbow (currently on the Rangers AAA team)

Old-timer Bortone suggested Mossi, but qualified it with “Not sure if this is fair to the horse.” Tobin pointed out that back in the day Adam Godson had found Thunder Matt’s Saloon’s comparison of Turnbow to a baboon.

horse4

  • George Frazier (1978-1987, Cardinals/Yankees/Cleveland/Cubs/Twins)
  • A horse
  • Jorge Posada (currently on the Yankees)

horse5

This list is almost certainly definitive, but if you think you can do better, by all means, videotape yourself drinking mint juleps and brainstorming and editing photos and post it on youtube.  The world will be a better place for it.

(UPDATE: Not sure if this’ll get you in the boozing/youtubing mood or no, but our friends at Busted Coverage have matched the great Kentucky Derby prose ever written — the late great Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depravedwith a photo essay of the usual shocking Derby horseplay.)

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One Response to “Kentucky Derby Special: Vaguely Equine Ballplayers”
  1. Paneech says:

    This is absolutely hilarious! Good work digging up the photos!

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