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Bugs & Cranks
August 16, 2009 at 10:03 pm ET
Kneel Before Zaun!

One of the newest Devil Rays, veteran catcher Gregg Zaun, had a sparkling Devil Ray Moment Sunday afternoon.テつ Pinch-hitting in the bottom of the 8th inning with two outs in a tie game, Grand Slam. Devil Rays win.

Earlier in the game, Zaun was shown on the bench, and I thought he looked like a slimmer John Kruk (albeit with twice the testicles).テつ See for yourselves:


Or maybe it’s just the mullets.テつ But hey, who doesn’t love a nice mullet, right?

Meanwhile, Zaun is also really into N.W.A. and Def Leppard.テつ And he’s Rick Dempsey’s nephew!

With the grand slam, Zahn has now homered twice in his first 16 Devil Ray at-bats.テつ (He also homered Friday night off overrated Toronto trade bait Roy “Billie” Halladay.) If Zaun can just maintain that homer pace, his 8.0 HR/AB ratio will break the all-time Devil Rays career mark of 12.7 held by El Gato Del Crimen Carlos Pena.


And while we’re talking mathy, Sunday’s Zaun-powered triumph keeps our beloved Devil Rays firmly in control of their playoff destiny.テつ Sure we’re three back of Boston and four back of Texas in the loss column, but we’ve got 6 games left with each of them, and 45 games left overall.テつ And 11 of those 45 are against the horrible, lowly, pathetic, Pirate-esque Orioles.テつ The O’s were kind enough to send us Zaun, and Tuesday they start a three-game set at historic Tropicana Field.

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2 Responses to “Kneel Before Zaun!”
  1. kip says:

    This article is supposed to be funny right!

  2. Adam C says:

    It’s obvious what’s going on here: Old man river was introduced to the Rays’ steroid connection in Florida. His HR rate has increased to 8.0 HR/AB (which I didn’t know was possible since I thought you were required to let the next guy bat after you hit at least 1 HR in an AB), up from 39 AB/HR. Hypothetically speaking (since it’s impossible), if the Rays were in the playoffs they would have to poke him in the ass a few extra times to bring up his playoffs HR rate of…zero.

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