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February 20, 2009 at 1:20 am ET
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Steinbrenner: The Final Countdown — Day 555 — George Steinbrenner High School _________s

The Final Countdown

Theme music: Final Countdown (A Cappella)

It’s been almost a year since our last installment, but the old Boss was golf-carted and wheel-chaired into the Yankees spring training facility on Thursday, and met with Joe Girardi, Bernie Williams and some current players. Bernie reports George is super coherent.

More important to me though is what’s going down at the opening-soon George Steinbrenner High School in Tampa. The disgusting bastard brainchild of the Hillsborough School Board, GSHS is set to open in August. The St. Petersburg Times is reporting that a decision on the school’s mascot and colors will be reached by the end of the month based on the votes of prospective students:

Prospective mascots include the Stallions, the Chargers, the Yankees and the Clippers — all in keeping with the interests of the diabolical owner for whom the school is named.

“I’m begging you: Please don’t call it the Yankees,” said a fan of the Devil Rays and Tigers and father of three children who will one day go to the school. He added that calling the teams the Yankees would be too polarizing, and besides, the school is not in the North.

School colors could include crimson with black and gold, navy blue with green and gold, or navy blue and orange. Students also can suggest ideas for the mascot and colors.

Ideally, there would be no Steinbrenner High. But I urge all the young people who will be voting to take advantage of this unique opportunity to stick it to a twisted and evil, despicable old man.

Steinbrenner Devil Rays, or hell even Steinbrenner Rays would be awesome. You probably can’t get away with something more appropriate like Felons or Robber Barons or Fascists. Actually, to be safe, you probably want to pick one of the other choices to make sure Yankees loses. Steinbrenner Stallions kind of makes me laugh. Steinbrenner Clippers reminds me of the basketball Clippers so that could be good. Choose wisely young people.

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8 Responses to “Steinbrenner: The Final Countdown — Day 555 — George Steinbrenner High School _________s”
  1. Chad says:

    Fans of the Devil Rays AND Tigers?? That fan should stick with Detroit…at least its team is historic. I love the fact that the Tigers logo has been basically the same since 1901. Also, it hasn’t undergone a name change in more than 19 years. That’s more than the Rays can say. Suck on THAT, Chalk.

  2. Jamie says:

    Are they going to hand-out syringes in class? is cheating encouraged? can you buy better grades there? do they charge kids extra to actually hear the teacher? will private dectives spy on the best performing students to get them kicked-out? will the same principal be fired and re-hired 5 seperate times?

  3. Adam C says:

    It’s sad that someone from NY was more worthy of having something named after them in Tampa than someone who was actually from Tampa.

    Some dumbass fan – “calling the teams the Yankees would be too polarizing”. So naming it George Steinbrenner High School is an acceptable level of polarization? Yeah, no one would think to link the Boss to the Yankees.

  4. FrankDiscussion says:

    You stated that Steinbrenner was a “twisted and evil, despicable old man.”

    The Steinbrenner’s are well known in the Tampa area for their charitable work, including the Silver and Gold Shield Foundation, Salvation Army, Boy’s and Girl’s Clubs, Warrior Foundation. Also the fact that he funded an Emergency Trauma Center for Children at St. Joseph’s. Hardly seems like an “despicable old man” to me. You should be grateful for what this individual has done for your community.

    I could post more but there isn’t any need. Your statement is a sad reflection of why nobody takes anything you say seriously. This entire site has become a running joke because of you.

  5. Adam C says:

    Lighten up, Francis.

  6. Chalk says:

    Mr. Discussion — you’re far too kind both to myself and to Mr. Steinbrenner.

    For myself, while I appreciate the compliment, I can’t take full credit for the running joke that it is our website. Bugs&Cranks has always been a running joke — perhaps you’ve noticed the red letters on the top right of every page: “Humor-injected baseball commentary.” Great wits and minds besides mine were contributing to that for several months before I came aboard, and they have continued to throughout my proud tenure.

    For Mr. Steinbrenner, his history of philanthropy with his ill-gotten profits does not erase his many despicable deeds. In addition to other crimes, he was convicted of a felony in connection with subverting the democracy of the United States; he’s stolen countless millions from the taxpayers of New York; he’s done more to hurt the competitive balance of baseball than any man or drug; he’s treated many of his own employees in despicable ways. Charitable donations seriously can’t whitewash his seriously disgraceful legacy.

    ***

    Adam C — could you just not resist a clever Stripes reference/play on Frank’s name? or was that also a little bit of you coming to my defense? Perhaps there’s hope for you yet.

  7. chalksmother says:

    chalk you’re a fat little douchebag anyway, get some clearisil and get out of your basement.

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