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October 21, 2008 at 12:55 am ET
14 Comments
The 2008 Phillies As Rocky Characters

It seemed like every time I flipped on the NLCS on Fox they were playing the theme from Rocky. Impressed as always by FOX’s originality, I got to thinking…. we’ve done The Devil Rays As Muppets (Part One and Part Two) and the extremely popular Red Sox As Bond Villains, why not honor the National League Champion Philadelphia Phillies with the same treatment?

Here’s my best shot at some of the most prominent of The Fightins as your favorite characters from the Rocky films:

Pat Burrell is THUNDERLIPS

“To all my love slaves out there: Thunderlips is here. In the flesh, baby. The ultimate male versus… the ultimate meatball. Ha, ha, ha.” Of course, in real life, Hulk Hogan is a huge Devil Rays fan.

Jimmy Rollins is APOLLO CREED

Jamie Moyer is THE SLAB OF BEEF

Ryan Howard is CLUBBER LANG

Yo, Chase Utley is ADRIAN

Adrian worked at a pet store, Chase Utley loves cuddly critters. Chase is also a shitty ice skater.

Brett Myers is TOMMY GUNN

Well, if we gotta give someone the HIV….

Charlie Manuel is MICK

Brad Lidge is PAULIE

Matt Stairs is IVAN DRAGO

Canada, Russia, same difference.

Cole Hamels is LUDMILLA DRAGO

Like Ludmilla, Cole is a great interview.

Shane Victorino The Flyin’ Hawaiian is ROCKY THE FLYIN’ SQUIRREL

The Phillies Fans are THE SOVIET BOXING FANS

The Russians needed Rocky to teach them the true meaning of Christmas; Philly fans, who once booed Santa, still need Rocky to teach them the true meaning of Christmas.

????? is ROCKY BALBOA

Get real, world titles are only won by fictional Philly athletes.

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14 Responses to “The 2008 Phillies As Rocky Characters”
  1. Which was more original? Playing the “Rocky” theme in Philly or “I Love LA” in Chavez Ravine? I call it a push, except it would have been awesome if they’d played the music video for the latter:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiizQk_3pLI

  2. J Roll says:

    Real funny…….we’re gonna whoop the devil rays arses…………go phils!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. bcapp says:

    And the Devil Rays are the busted-ass Iroc Z that Rocco drives around. Go Phils!

  4. jay says:

    i too am impressed by the originality of fox. it truly inspired some greatness in you on this. i mean, who knew philly fans once booed Santa Claus. Great reference.

  5. They should have played California Girls instead. That’s what the Dodgers played like.

  6. lights out says:

    The Rays have hardly any die hard fans like philly players for the Rays have never won a championship or even had a winning record. So you have no room to make fun of the Philliea or their fans

  7. nick says:

    Mick Billmeyer should be Mick

  8. ckuklick says:

    get a new hobby dude. that was terrible.

  9. William Huggins says:

    Tampa Fans are more like Soviet Boxing Fans.
    ….OH…our team is winning in September…Let’s go see what that baseball is all about….ya fair weather, fake, tacky, junk fans. Leave the cow bell at home, in fact, stay at home yourself and wait for the Spring Cup to come to town. Phil’s fans will happily take your tickets (just like Sox fans, or Yankees fans have done for years).

    PHILADELPHIA IS GETTIN BETTAW!!!!! GO PHILS

  10. irelandrew says:

    Real funny. You need to find something better to do with your time. The PHILLIES are going to kick the Ray’s asses so don’t get us started. Who cares is Philly fans booed Santa, we don’t. It’s all a part of being the GREATEST FANS IN THE USA, BABY. PHILADELPHIA FANS ARE THE GREATEST FANS IN THE USA AND YOU KNOW THERE’S NO DENYING THAT, SO SHOVE IT!!!!!! GO PHILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. youaregay says:

    OH NO! Philly booed Santa, OMG. That was 40 fricken years ago, and that’s all you can say about us? What a joke, just like this website.

  12. aarow90 says:

    what a joke, PHILLIES=WORLD SERIES CHAMPS

  13. WS Champs 08 says:

    Wow…not such a joke anymore. I hope all the doubters finally get off our backs. Look at the bright side…the offseason isn’t too far away and the Mets can get ready to choke again.

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