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September 17, 2008 at 12:39 am ET
Why I’d Be Worried If I Was A Sox Fan

TFC GWRBI(This is hypothetical of course, because I am a Devil Rays fan and have nothing to worry about….)

In the glow of a blowout victory our Sox guru J-Rose wrote in his wrap-up that Monday’s Devil Rays-Red Sox series opener was “the biggest game of the season.”

Obviously that’s crazy talk — our Devil Rays have 13 games left after Tuesday’s victory, the Sox have 11. Both clubs have a very manageable magic number of FIVE to make the playoffs. Home field advantage and a division title are nice little carrots, but like I said last week, neither team is in serious danger of missing the postseason.

So what this week’s series and last week’s series are really about is making statements. So far both teams have gotten 0-6 road monkeys off their back. But for this series, I ask you what’s the bigger statement:

The Sox 13-5 win on Monday, or the Devil Rays 2-1 walkoff win on Tuesday?

Here’s why I would say the 2-1 win, and why I’d be worried if I was a Sox fan, our Devil Rays are now 6-0 in one-run games against the Sox, and 8-0 in games decided by 2 or less. I think that’s a bigger edge to have. I was feeling confident after Andy Sonnanstine pitched a scoreless top of the first. If the Sox don’t jump out to a huge lead, the season series says our Devil Rays will win. I wasn’t worried when it was still scoreless in the fifth, I wasn’t surprised that El Gato Del Crimen Carlos Pena tied it in the 7th, and I never worried the rest of the way. [J Rose seems to agree in his latest wrap.]

Worry #2: Your tainted slugger Jason Bay would rather be watching his wife poop out their second daughter than play in Tuesday or Wednesday’s game. I mean come on, this is clearly a case of Jason Bay being Jason Bay — it might be understandable if it was dude’s first kid or a masculine child. But a second daughter? — that dude’s got no testicles.

Worry #3: The Sox really needed a sweep here, and Tuesday’s win was really like a win and a half for the Devil Rays. Our Devil Rays now the lead the season series 9-8; if we win Wednesday and finish the season tied with the Sox, we get the division title. Even if the Sox somehow win Wednesday, the tiebreaker for the division is our records against the AL East. Our Devil Rays are currently 38-29 against the East, the Sox are 35-30, and we have the edge in remaining games with just four in Baltimore, while they have three at Toronto and three hosting the Yankees.

Worry #4: Another thing I might be worried about is that twice in the past week Andy Sonnanstine has pitched as well if not better than Josh Beckett.

Just like the last series, this one will end with our Devil Rays still leading (at least in the loss column — and it’s the loss column that counts so we were never even really tied) — and without having proved much of anything. Or nothing we’ll really know until next month. It should be fun.  But try to keep things in perspective — as much as you fear us and want to see our slow start to September against teams who are not the Red Sox as some kind of Metsian “September swoon,” you’ll almost certainly have to face us again.

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4 Responses to “Why I’d Be Worried If I Was A Sox Fan”
  1. Three losses by a total of 3 runs? Yeah, Sox fans are panicking.

  2. Saint says:

    It appears I was wrong about your boys, Mr. Chalk. Gutsy buggers.

  3. Jeff says:

    One thing you wouldn’t have to worry about as a Sox fan….selling out the stadium every game this post season. As a Tampa fan I’m pretty sure that’s something you’ll have to worry about, douche!!!

  4. Anarchist Accountant says:

    Guess commenting about play on the field won’t be Jeff’s focus for a while…

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