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November 5, 2009 at 1:04 pm ET
Yes, I’m Really Retiring

After a little over 32 months writing about professional baseball here at Bugs & Cranks, it’s clearly time to stop.テつ I still love this site and the people who make it great, so I may stick around and cover amateur baseball, but I’m done with pro baseball. Not that I was hedging my bets exactly, but I’ll also be writing about other pro sports elsewhere on the interwebs starting next week — look for an announcement early next week.

Back in the early 80’s, Howard Cosell decided to stop calling profesional boxing. A deeply moral person like me, Cosell based his decision on seeing one too many gross mismatches, and the corruption of the sport’s governing bodies, its meaningless titles and the people who profited from the obscenely unlevel playing field.テつ The analogy with baseball today is all too clear.

Perhaps I should thank the Yankees for opening my eyes.テつ They provided the final straw, the one too many dark night and day for a tarnished sport.

A game that has offered the world as three of its last four “champions” teams no real champions would ever want to be associated with.

The grossly advantaged Yankees led by Alex Rodriguez who finally admitted some of his rampant steroidテつ use this February and Andy Pettitte, who won two games in the World Series after admitting some of his own performance-enhancing drug use less than two years ago.テつ They beat the “defending champions, ” who won the previous “title” thanks to a relief pitcher who won two games in the World Series because he was allowed to play while dragging out an appeal on two positive regular season drug tests.テつ The past two seasons were further cheapened by the de facto banishment of the game’s greatest player, its G-POPE Barry Bonds.テつ Then back in 2006 you have the Cardinals and their glorious 82-80 regular season record.

As I wrote about the 2oo7 New York Giants, the ’09 Yankees, the ’08 Phillies and ’06 Cardinals have only succeeded in further cheapening the word テ「竄ャナ鼎hampionship.テ「竄ャツ敕つ Championships should be about Greatness. Championships should be about Excellence. Championships should not be about Opportunistic Mediocrity.テつ As my stepfather is fond of saying even a blind squirrel with more than twice the revenue and nearly twice the payroll of all the other squirrels will occasionally find a nut.テつ Really with the advantages the Yankees have, to have only won one title in 9 years and to lose more games in the World Series than any “champion” since 2003 is a disgrace.テつ A sound argument could be made that they’re STILL the worst team of the millenium.

But as of today, I’m leaving it to others to make those sound arguments about this deeply flawed game that is so desperately in need of big and major reform.テつ Thank you all though for your support as I have tried my best to Tell It Like It Is.

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24 Responses to “Yes, I’m Really Retiring”
  1. Yo momma says:

    Boo-fucking-hoo. Good riddance you whining piece of shit.

  2. xolager says:

    As the most entertaining writer on my favourite baseball blog, you’ll be missed. Come join us in the Golden League.

  3. Mickey says:

    Good riddance indeed. You made no valid points in this post and if you ever post again it will be too soon, in my opinion.

  4. James says:

    If you’re saying the 07 red sox are “real” champions, but you’re against steroids and payroll you need to take a long look in the mirror.

  5. Adam Godson says:

    You’ll be missed, man. Sad to say I’ve given up on baseball too…didn’t watch a single minute of the playoffs. You’re a talented guy and there’s a lot more to write about.

  6. SMS_Mike says:

    If you’re going to poke at the 06 Cardinals, you should at least get their record right. They finished 83-78.

    • xolager says:

      This is an important distinction.

      83-79 is a record totally worthy of a World Series
      82-80 is garbage

      One of the Cards’ many wins against the Pirates makes the difference! They should have won TWO World Series’ that year!

  7. Cam Martin says:

    I certainly understand the discouragement, DC. Frankly, I don’t know how people can remain fans of low budget teams that don’t compete. It would strike me as a foolish, disheartening waste of time that would lead to an early death.

    Baseball will certainly be a better product when they institute a salary cap one of these days.

    I look forward to your football riffs.

  8. Jeff Roman says:

    I hope this is satire. It is right?

    Otherwise it makes no sense.

  9. Bad Kermit says:

    The Rays were just in the Series last year with the second-lowest payroll in baseball at $43,820,598. It may be tougher for small-market teams to do it, but it’s certainly possible. The Twins seem like they’re always a playoff team, and they checked in this year at a skimpy $65,299,266 in payroll.

    I don’t begrudge the Yankees their championship. They were the best team in baseball this year, partially because they spent a lot, but also because they spent wisely. Ask the Mets and the Cubs what their 2nd- and 3rd-place payrolls got them this year. I wish my team did what the Yankees did on a consistent basis. It seems like sour grapes to complain about it.

  10. Tan Man says:

    Honestly, this is the first article I’ve ever read by you, and it will likely be the last. I think Bad Kermit’s post says it all, and should make you eat your words. I don’t think you’ll be missed in the baseball journalism world if this is the kind of material that you put out. I’m a Reds fan, and as much as Yankee haters would love to say that they hate the yankees because they spend so much, the truth is they would love it if their teams owners were willing to spend that much too. You don’t think the Pirates would try to buy everyone up if they could. And you saying there’s an argument for the Yanks being the worst team of the milennium is pretty moronic. To be fair, your statement about how the Yanks have only won one title in nine years seriously undermines your whole argument against them. Seriously, you must not have considered that by saying that you were basically showing you don’t need the monster payroll to beat the monster payroll. At the end of the day it’s still 9 guys vs. 9 guys, and regardless of how you look at it or how much 9 are getting paid compared to the other 9, any team has a chance to beat any team. If you don’t believe that, then your ignorant. So thank you for retiring so I never have to stumble across an article written by someone who, lacks the integrity to admit that he was being completely and utterly biased in his comlumn because he clearly hates the Yankees.

  11. Tan Man says:

    By the way here’s what an actually interesting, unbiased, and well written story about the yankees win should look like; just in case you were wondering.


  12. berselius says:

    Good. Now there is one less baseball writer who does not enjoy the sport that he covers. If only the rest would do the same.

  13. justin says:

    As Obi-Wan says in A New Hope: good riddance to bad rubbish…this post is all I’ve ever read of your work and I’m glad for that. Have fun whining about whatever the next thing is that do, people like you are never satisfied with anything.

  14. Stultus Magnus says:

    Good bye, chump!

    Hope the next venture includes hypocrisy and endless whining as well.

    Didn’t know baseball changed all that much in the 32 months you’ve been blogging.

  15. Adam C says:

    Good luck, Chalk.

  16. Bob Tomlinson says:

    As has been said before, good riddance. This is a complete joke, and probably should be read that way.

  17. Franklins Tower says:

    Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

    1) This post is BS as most, er, all of your posts are.
    2) You can’t quit from being a sport writer. You never were a sports witer. You are a CHEERLEADER, nothing more. Just you, your Rays pom poms, and your Perrier. Real sports writers aren’t cheerleaders, don’t quote from Jane Austen, don’t drink Perrier, and, most importantly, don’t whine.
    3) Remember, you root for a team owned by ex-Goldman partners. It’s all business to them. If you don’t believe so, you don’t understand Goldman Sachs. Do we have to teach you everything? So stop cring about money. Stuart Sternberg is counting and measuring his. Speaking of “eye opening”, go Google Goldman and AIG sometime to see how your tax payer money was spent.
    4) As they say, it’s all over but the crying. Go cry a river.

  18. Franklins Tower says:

    Oh, and on the unlikey chance that your post wasn’t your usual load of crap, you may want to do a post on all your predictions that were completely wrong. Hard to pick as some many were. Like:


    I can go on and on, but you get the point.

  19. Dan P. says:

    You’re an ass
    Just tellin’ it like it is.

    • Franklins Tower says:

      I have no problem with Chalk being an ass (which he is), I have issues with his cheerleading ass-ness. At least Bostondirtdogs.com are funny and in touch with reality when they are an ass.

  20. Franklins Tower says:

    What’s the over/under for the next Chalk whine-fest post, proving this post was a total load of the usual crap?

  21. Nine Deuce says:

    Whoa. Isn’t this level of vitriol a bit incommensurate with the relative importance of what’s being discussed? I’m half expecting the next comment to have the word “faggot” in it. I had no idea people would get this pissy over someone not liking their team. Shows how much I know.

  22. dude abides says:

    When Chalk inevitably does his next post, as we’ve seen his “I’m out of here” bull before, he should add the Redskins to the Rays on the list of worst frachines ever in the history of sport.

    Apparently, the Wall Street Journal feels the Redskins are “easily the saddest soap opera in football” and football should “send the Washington Redskins back, like an unsavory turkey club sandwich?”


    See, Tampa isn’t the only city/district with a pathetic sports franchise.

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