Until February 2008, there was a vacuous void when it came to objective MLB team season previews and Devil Rays information on the internets. And then there wasn’t….
There was Your Team AinĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t S#!t Compared To The Devil Rays. The 2009 Edition of Your Team Ain’t S#!t continues our proud tradition of truth and awesomeness as over six weeks we prove concisely and conclusively why each of the other 29 teams remain vastly inferior to our beloved Devil Rays.
Working backwards through the final Bugs & Cranks Top 30 rankings, we continue with The Los Angeles Angels Of AnaheimĂ˘â‚¬Â¦.
Argument #1. The Angels really weren’t that good last year and they’ll be even worse this year.
I keep hearing some greek dude says that a triangle told him the Angels really should have only won 88 games last year.
Aram Tolegian of foxsports.com breaks it down thusly:
When you replace K-Rod with Brian Fuentes and Mark Teixeira with Kendry Morales, there’s no way you can expect improvement. The Angels beat up on a bad division last year…. Combine some of the personnel losses with the fact that Vlad Guerrero is recovering from minor knee surgery and it’s pretty obvious the Halos are [real s#!tty]
The Big Lead puts it a little more succinctly:
….the Angels outfieldĂ˘â‚¬â„˘s aging and the infieldĂ˘â‚¬â„˘s too young and the pitching staff overachieved last season. TheyĂ˘â‚¬â„˘ll slip back to 82 wins.
Argument #3. Our Aybar is better than your Aybar:
- Willy Aybar, Devil Rays: 10 HR, 5 errors, .323 OBP, .406 SLG, spells first name like any decent person would
- Erick Aybar, Angels: 3 HR, 18 errors, .317 OBP, .388 SLG, canĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t spell own name
Argument #4. 11 Years, Bitches.
The Devil Rays won their first division title and made their first World Series in their 11th season. The Angels needed 19 seasons to win their first division title, and 42 years to make their first World Series.
Now and always, the Angels ainĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t shit compared to our beloved Devil Rays.
WeĂ˘â‚¬â„˘ll prove it head-to-head at historic Tropicana Field Tuesday June 9-Thursday June 11, and in Anaheim Monday August 10-Wednesday August 12.
Coming soon to Your Team AinĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t S#!t Compared To The Devil RaysĂ˘â‚¬Â¦.
Last Up: #29 The WFC* Philadelphia Phillies
Previously on Your Team AinĂ˘â‚¬â„˘t S#!t Compared To The Devil RaysĂ˘â‚¬Â¦.
#1 The San Diego Padres
#2 The Washington Nationals
#3 The Seattle Mariners
#4 The Colorado Rockies
#5 The San Francisco Giants
#6 The Pittsburgh Pirates (w/ Special Guest S#!tter Tampa Bay Sports BlogĂ˘â‚¬â„˘s Scott Brannelly)
#7 The Atlanta Braves
BONUS Puerto Rico
#8 The Baltimore Orioles
#9 The Cincinnati Reds
#10 The Arizona Diamondbacks
#11 The Detroit Tigers
#12 The Kansas City Royals
#13 The Oakland Athletics
#14 The Texas Rangers
#15 The St. Louis Cardinals
#16 The Cleveland AL Franchise
#17 The Florida Marlins
#18 The Los Angeles Dodgers
#19 The Houston Astros
#20 The New York Mets
#21 The Milwaukee Brewers
#22 The Toronto Blue Jays
#23 The New York Yankees
#24 The Minnesota Twins
#25 The Chicago White Sox
#26 The Chicago Cubs
#27 The Boston Red Sox
Leave a Reply
- A Heartwarming Holiday Tale of Authorized Amphetamines by Patrick Smith
- Nationals Enjoy the Calm Before the $torm by Duke Jackson
- The stones to gather Moss by Keith Good
- Not for (Fire) Sale by Steve St. Angelo
- The Passion of the Konerko: A 1-Act Play by Paul Czarnowski