Bugs & Cranks Home
Bugs & Cranks
April 3, 2009 at 6:29 am ET
1 Comment
Your Team Ain’t S#!t 2009: #29 The Phillies

Until February 2008, there was a vacuous void when it came to objective MLB team season previews and Devil Rays information on the internets. And then there wasn’t….

There was Your Team Ain’t S#!t Compared To The Devil Rays. The 2009 Edition of Your Team Ain’t S#!t continues our proud tradition of truth and awesomeness as over six weeks we prove concisely and conclusively why each of the other 29 teams remain vastly inferior to our beloved Devil Rays.

Working backwards through the final Bugs & Cranks Top 30 rankings, we finish on The WFC* Philadelphia Phillies….

Argument #1. You didn’t really think I was going to let this go, did you?

This injustice will not stand man.

Argument #2. Phillies Opening Night Starter Brett Myers, we all remembered a few years back when you beat your wife in public — what’s your encore?

Warping the mind of your preschool age son — CHILD ABUSE! Doesn’t Pennsylvania have social services?

Argument #3. The Rays Party reminds us “Pat The Bat > Raul Ibanez The Fielder (links of bad defense: one, two, three).”

Argument #4. After their illgotten FC*, the Phils will go right back to what they’ve always been: Garbage.

Argument #5. #5 Starter Chan Ho Park.

What, y’all couldn’t lure Jae Seo back across the Pacific?

Argument #6. Meech says he’d only bet on the Phillies winning 89 or more games in ’09 if you put a gun to his head.  Whereas I’m confidently predicting way more than 89 wins for the Devil Rays.

Argument #7. Evan Longoria > Mike Schmidt.

Argument #8. 11 Years, Bitches.

The Devil Rays made their first World Series appearance in their 11th season. The Phillies didn’t make a World Series until their 33rd season.

Now and always, the Phillies ain’t shit compared to our beloved Devil Rays.

We’ll prove it head-to-head at historic Tropicana Field Tuesday June 23-Thursday June 25; and if the Phillies can make it back without their ‘roided up reliever, in the World Series rematch.

Previously on Your Team Ain’t S#!t Compared To The Devil Rays….

#1 The San Diego Padres
#2 The Washington Nationals
#3 The Seattle Mariners
#4 The Colorado Rockies
#5 The San Francisco Giants
#6 The Pittsburgh Pirates (w/ Special Guest S#!tter Tampa Bay Sports Blog’s Scott Brannelly)
#7 The Atlanta Braves
BONUS Puerto Rico
#8 The Baltimore Orioles
#9 The Cincinnati Reds
#10 The Arizona Diamondbacks
#11 The Detroit Tigers
#12 The Kansas City Royals
#13 The Oakland Athletics
#14 The Texas Rangers
#15 The St. Louis Cardinals
#16 The Cleveland AL Franchise
#17 The Florida Marlins
#18 The Los Angeles Dodgers
#19 The Houston Astros
#20 The New York Mets
#21 The Milwaukee Brewers
#22 The Toronto Blue Jays
#23 The New York Yankees
#24 The Minnesota Twins
#25 The Chicago White Sox
#26 The Chicago Cubs
#27 The Boston Red Sox
#28 The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim

In closing, I’d like to thank B&C’s Tyler Maas for tracking down that newspaper, and B&C founder/mastermind Jesse Pugh for again providing our lovely banners.

Read more: , , , , ,
Print  |  Email  |  Share/Save
One Response to “Your Team Ain’t S#!t 2009: #29 The Phillies”
  1. meech.one says:

    Wear your replica AL Champions ring with pride, Chalk. You guys deserved it!

Leave a Reply

Latest Posts
Our Sponsors
Vividseats.com is your premier internet destination for all MLB Baseball Tickets, such as Phillies Tickets, Cubs Tickets, LA Dodgers Tickets, Pirates Tickets, Marlins Tickets, and many more.
SecureYourSeat.com are able to provide you with a great selection of Premier League tickets including Arsenal tickets, Manchester United tickets, Liverpool tickets and Chelsea tickets. We also stock a fine selection of Champions League tickets including Champions League final tickets.
Best online sports betting bonuses and promotions at Sportsbetting.com. Join now the most secure online sportsbook!
For a selection of online slots games and casino reviews visit Online Slots Entertainment, a leader in online slot machines since 2003.
AllianceTickets.com carries all MLB Tickets including Colorado Rockies Tickets, Seattle Mariners Tickets and San Francisco Giants Tickets. They carry all Sports Tickets at discount prices.
With Texas Holdem Masters you can get information about the hottest trends in the popular Texas Holdem Poker game, with strategies and tricks so that you can be a master too. At Gambling Experts your poker skills will be upgraded from being an amateur to being an expert.

windows 7 key

windows 7 key

serial winzip 11

serial winzip 11 key

serial corel draw 11

serial corel draw 11 serials

photo shop key

photo shop key

free corel photoshop download

free corel photoshop download keygen

adobe free

adobe free

winrar password cracker serial

wirar password cracker

winrar 3 download

winrar 3 download freedownload

office 2010 professional key

office 2010 key

download photo shop free

photo shop serial

free winrar download for xp

download winrar for xp for free

cs5 serialz

cs5 serialz free

windows 7 free

windows 7 crack

free corel downloads

free corel downloads cracked

office 2010 free

office 2010 key

key office 2010

office 2010 key

photoshop key

photoshop key

windows key

windows key

corel dvd moviefactory 6

corel dvd moviefactory 6 downloads