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October 3, 2012 at 6:16 pm ET
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David Cone is Racist and other Yankees Tidbits
  • Yankees analyst David Cone is making it easy for me to hate him. Not only did he pitch a no-hitter against the Expos in 1999, he referred to Ichiro’s bat as a “chopstick”. Must’ve failed his racial sensitivity test. Idiot.
  •  One more win and the division belongs to New York. Just like old times. If only the Devil Rays would be as inept as the Red Sox.
  • Ibanez came through in last night’s win. Sometimes this guy looks haggard and old, like something A-Rod would date, and then there are the times where he looks like he’s…38. I kid. He’s doing his part. So is Nick Swisher, who dumped a bucket of ice water on Ibanez after the game. I’m not a doctor but isn’t that dangerous? Same with the shaving cream pie in the face. Baseball players, they don’t always think!
  • There was a bird in the infield, which could be some kind of metaphor for the Orioles chasing the Yankees since the All Star Break. Or it could just be a bird in the infield. That happens at ballparks. Here at the Rogers Centre there are birds all over the place, even when the roof is closed. José Bautista probably feels like Tippi Hedren.
  • In a USA Today article, published this morning, Orioles closer Jim Johnson is quoted as saying, “We’re not supposed to be here. So just go out and have fun and see what happens.” I don’t know, man. Maybe you are supposed to be here? Maybe the AL East was supposed to change hands? Maybe I’m just being silly? Maybe I’m hungry? Yeah, I’m definitely hungry.
  • Here’s a dumb stat: the Yankees are 0-58 when trailing after eight innings this season before rallying in the ninth.
  • Speaking of nonsense, Yankees top pitching prospect, Manny Banuelos is scheduled to have reconstructive surgery on his left elbow on Thursday, leading him to miss the entire 2013 season. Everyone’s favorite doctor to the stars, James Andrews will be wielding the knife. Or scalpel? Again, I’m not a doctor. That’s a good thing because I am in no way shape or form ready to perform Tommy John surgery tomorrow on anyone, let alone a top prospect.
  •  Tonight’s pitching match up is Kuroda (15-11) v. Matsuzaka (1-6). My fingers have been crossed to the point of carpal tunnel all day. Please let us see some of that 15 and none of that 11.
  • Andy Pettitte is ready should the Yankees have to face the friggin’ Orioles in a one-game division tie-breaker.

If you need me after the game, I’ll be learning how to perform TJ surgery. Just in case.

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