â€śSunglasses and Advil, last night was mad real.â€ť Those were the words uttered by the AL East Crown as it stumbled into the early sunlight. Exiting from Jay Zâ€™s 40/40 Club and flanked by two gorgeous brunettes, the AL East Crown (formerly the AL East Lead) appeared to be enjoying the fruits of an all-night rager.
â€śYeah, we went pretty hard,â€ť the AL East Crown told reporters who were camped outside the 40/40 Club hoping to catch a glimpse of BeyoncĂ© in the newly designed Brooklyn Nets attire. â€śBut, we deserve it. Two days ago I was worried Iâ€™d be partying in Baltimore. Great city, but Ray Lewis threatened me last time I was in town; told me he had a lot of money riding on the Orioles. Thankfully, I donâ€™t have to go back there right now. Heâ€™d kill me.â€ť
The AL East Crown partied with most of the team including 40/40 regular, Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, rapper Kanye West and 30 Rock stars Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan. When the rest of the tri-state area turned off their televisions with big fat smiles across their faces after the Yankees clinched the American League Division, the Bronx Bombers and the AL East Crown went out to celebrate.
Surprisingly absent from the festivities was Yankees shortstop and captain, Derek Jeter. â€śHeâ€™s already preparing for the playoffs,â€ť the AL East Crown told reporters. â€śYou know Jeet, heâ€™s always one step ahead. Heâ€™s probably back at his place making Boonie [Boone Logan] throw him live BP.â€ť
After walloping the Red Sox in the last game of the season, Yankees outfielder Ichiro Suzuki was the first to give the AL East Crown a big hug. â€śFor him,â€ť said the Crown, â€śItâ€™s an even bigger deal. He hasnâ€™t been to the playoffs in 11 years. And when he did make it, it was with the Seattle Pilots. I meant Mariners. Sorry, Iâ€™m still a little drunk.â€ť
The Yankees take on the winner of the Wild Card playoff game on Saturday. When asked who heâ€™d rather see the Evil Empire face, the AL East Crown was happy to share its thoughts. â€śIâ€™d like to say Texas because that could be an easy series to take. My guys could easily do it in three games. Even though Hiroki [Kuroda] says he hates baseball, Iâ€™d bet that heâ€™d get some joy out of winning the first round.â€ť
The Crown is of course referring to Hiroki Kurodaâ€™s controversial comments in which the hurler claimed to dislike baseball and pitching. â€śHeâ€™s a solid guy, though,â€ť the AL East Crown said. â€śWhether he likes pitching or not, heâ€™s goingÂ to be a big piece of the puzzle in the post-season.â€ť
Kuroda, along with fellow starter Phil Hughes and reliever Joba Chamberlain held court in a VIP booth at the 40/40 Club with the Crown. â€śJobaâ€™s hilarious,â€ť claims the AL East Crown. â€śMe and Hughsy were razzing him for crying after the win, but to be honest, Iâ€™d be crying too.â€ť
The Yankees and the AL East Crown await an opponent for Saturdayâ€™s American League Division Series. In the meantime says the AL East Crown, â€śI gotta get some breakfast. Hey Hov,â€ť he yells to the owner of the 40/40 Club, â€śYou wanna hit up the 2nd Avenue Deli?â€ť
With that, the AL East Crown and Jay Z piled into an escalade in search of the salami and rugalach special. BeyoncĂ©, it turns out, was at home with the baby.
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