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August 7, 2014 at 4:08 pm ET
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Handlebars ‘n Pillboxes

2015 MLB All Star Game LogoYesterday, the Cincinnati Reds unveiled the 2015 MLB All-Star Game logo.

Compared to¬†Minnesota’s 2014 blah-gasm1, Cincinnati’s logo is 100% uncut AWESOME. First off, it actually¬†says¬†“Cincinnati.” Excepting Twin Cities skyline¬†aficionados, Minnesota’s ASG logo looked like¬†a snapshot from Cloud City. Even better, Cincinnati hearkens back to it’s heritage as MLB’s first pro team with the inclusion of old-timey handlebar moustaches and pillbox caps.
This got me thinking2: How awesome would it be if every logo took cues from the 2015 ASG? The answer, as shown below, is VERY:

What’s classier than BMWs and handlebar ‘staches? Nothing. Not a single thing.

Just 'stache it.

Just ‘stache it.


PBR was a little too excited to get the handlebar treatment. Damn hipsters.

This is the only way you'll ever beat Coca-Cola.

This is the only way you’ll ever beat Coca-Cola.


If you were sexually confused looking at the naked mermaid on your latte before, it’s only going to get worse from here.



I, for one, will be very disappointed if Rollie Fingers doesn’t factor into the 2015 All Star Game hoopla in some way.


1Seriously, what is that thing? An airplane? The visual manifestation of a Blatz-smelling yawn?
2A dangerous pastime, I know.
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