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April 29, 2014 at 3:26 pm ET
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Masahiro Tanaka: Hall of Famer

Masahiro Tanaka is, without doubt, a Hall of Famer. New York’s 155 Million Dollar Man spun another gem over the weekend, holding the Angels to 2 runs on 5 hits. Though he walked 4 and gave up a home run, Tanaka’s 11 Ks in 6.1 innings has click-baiters sportswriters foaming at the mouth. Nate Silver’s 538 blog at ESPN compared Tanaka’s start to that of Bob Feller, Roger Clemens and Kerry Wood.

Truly, by virtue of his first 5 MLB starts, Masahiro Tanaka has earned his spot in a Hall of Fame. Not the Baseball Hall of Fame, certainly (let’s see how he handles 25 starts first), but rather the (Bugs & Cranks Patent Pending) Hot-Start Hall of Fame.

The Hot Start Hall of Fame celebrates other entertainers, sportspersons and public figures of note, who, like Masahiro Tanaka, hit the ground running. He stands aside other luminaries such as:

The Spin Doctors, musicians; Inducted 1996. “Those who would decry Spin Doctors as a one-hit-wonder must now eat a healthy plate of crow. The group’s second single, ‘Two Princes,’ has jumped to the top of the pop charts, cementing these ska-hippies as a force to be reckoned with. It’s not a question of if their follow-up album to ‘Pocket Full of Kryptonite,’ will go platinum, but how many times platinum. Truly, ‘Little Miss Can’t be Wrong,’ when it comes to the Spin Doctors.”

John Edwards, politician; Inducted 2005. “Already included on a Presidential ticket, the sky now seems the limit for NC Senator John Edwards. The lawyer-turned-politician-(turned dreamboat) speaks in the humble voice of the people. With 2008 already on the tongues of many politicos, it’s hard to imagine any contender able to defeat John Edwards in a Presidential election.”

‘Lost,’ television show; Inducted 2005. “In the first season of ‘Lost,’ J.J. Abrams shows us what TV should be. What started with a bang of a plane crash has only built on its kinetic energy. Where exactly is this island? Why does there seem to be supernatural forces at play? Why can that one dude walk now? We look forward to ‘Lost: Season 2,’ where we assume every question will be promptly answered.

Fred Taylor, NFL Running back; Inducted 1998. “Fred Taylor will certainly etch his face on the Mount Rushmore of all-time great NFL running backs. In just 12 games with Jacksonville, the rookie sensation has compiled over 1,200 yards and 14 touchdowns. Extrapolate those numbers over a 10-year career and Fred Taylor will one day make fans say, ‘Jim Brown who?’”

Hall of Fame or no, the New York Yankees have paid 155 million dollars for 35 innings of quality work, which seems about the going rate in the Big Apple.

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