The Candidates
Milton Bradley
If you haven’t seen his interview with ESPN… here it isn’t..  The ESPN folks pulled a fast one and removed it. It pretty much doesn’t exist on the web anymore.
Recap: It’s all the same delusional ramblings you’d expect from Milton Bradley, fueled by a horrible line of questioning that I’ll touch on momentarily.
One quote in the interview actually caused me to laugh out loud. It happens to be Milton’s final quote of the interview… or at least the point where the interview was clipped to end on TV.
“I don’t have time to hold grudges against people. I got enough stuff I gotta deal with.”
Yeah… this guy is mentally residing on a different planet than the rest of us. The only thing you need to be dealing with is getting yourself help. Get it soon.
Sports Untapped has a Milton Bradley Insanity Timeline that you need definitely need to check out.
Colleen Dominguez
She’s the interviewer in case you didn’t watch it.
Her persistent questioning of whether or not Bradley thought his hate mail came from within the Chicago Cubs organization was complete bullshit.
As Glenn McBride of Chicago Now commented…
“Dominguez pleaded for him (Bradley) to just speculate that this was an inside job. She repeatedly asked him if he thought the hate mail came from inside the organization. It was as if she wanted to turn to the camera and say “The mail…it was coming from INSIDE Wrigley Field! Duhn…duhn…duhn!”.
Instead of getting some real answers to real questions from Bradley, Dominguez leads him down the same racist path we hear time and time again. I mean what was the point of the interview? To attack Chicago? To attack the Cubs? To establish that Bradley was a victim?
Total garbage and a useless interview.
Jim Hendry
Hendry comments on Bradley.
“I think it’s time maybe Milton looked at himself in the mirror. It is what it is. He didn’t swing the bat; he didn’t get the job done. His production was the only negative, or lack of.”
I don’t blame Hendry one bit for lashing back at Bradley. It needed to be done. Cubs fans, for as much as I needle them, and the Cubs organization needed to be defended. Bradley needed to be put back in his place.
That said, does anyone truly feel sorry for Hendry? How could he not realize what he got himself into? How could he not forsee this being the end result when everyone else saw it? Yes, I applaud Hendry for speaking out, but yes, I still think Hendry is a giant tool for even getting into that mess.
Milton Bradley is your old problem Cubs fans. Jim Hendry is your ongoing problem.
Others up for consideration…
- Lindsay Lohan
- Ben Roethlisberger
- The Marriage Ref
The following is the Hard Rock Hotel San Diego’s demo video for some sort of “Rock Star Opening Day” contest being run by the San Diego Padres.
What moved me to present their video to you here on Bugs & Cranks?
Well…
1. The contest is very likely the only thing Padres fans will have to get excited about all season.
2. I really liked the bikini clad girl at the :33 mark. (You can see her in the little teaser shot down below.)
3. As you know, I’m a sucker for awful, awkward, downright strange “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” performances. I’m just drawn to them like Ben Roethlisberger is drawn to hotel rooms with drunk college girls. Like Tommy Lasorda is drawn to pasta. I can’t help myself.
4. While this one is far from the worst I’ve seen, I’m hopeful spreading the word will lead to many more bad ones.
Good luck San Diego. It’s sure to be a long year.
With Pete Rose set to host WWE’s Monday Night Raw two weeks from tonight, I figured we should take a look back at Pete’s past forays into wrestling each week leading up to his scheduled gig.
Here’s the first of his three Wrestlemania appearances, which sets off a two year feud with a wrestler ironically (or maybe not so ironically) nicknamed the “Big Red Machine”.
By the way, unlike Johnny Damon — who was randomly selected to host the show for reasons I’ll never understand — Pete actually made real headlines with his appearances. They were legendary.
Wrestlemania 14
We take you back to March 29th, 1998, in Boston, where Pete Rose was brought in to handle some ring announcing for the semi-main event — a match between “brothers” The Undertaker and Kane. That right there tipped off to most wrestling fans that something was going to happen. Typically celebrity guests are brought in to spice up the main event.
Keep in mind this was six years prior to Boston breaking their World Series slump.
Take it away, Pete.
First of all, Pete Rose would have been a terrific heel manager in the same vein as a Bobby “The Brain” Heenan or a Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart. He just has that natural look and sound of a lying, cheating, thieving weasel little bastard without being over the top about it. That quality seems to come very easily to Pete. And yes, that is a quality in wrestling. Back in the 80s that would guarantee you six-figure salary.
The crowd was mixed on how they wanted to receive Mr. Rose on that evening. He quickly made that decision easy with his serious delivery of a promo trashing Boston sports. Infact, Pete did such a great that the Boston crowd raucously cheered one of the WWE’s top villains at the time for attacking Pete.
Also, Rose took the move well and sold getting dropped on his head like he was really dropped on his head. If Pete makes any wrong move during the move, he gets dropped on his head for real. If he makes a wrong move after getting dropped, he kills the illusion of getting dropped on his head. As silly as it sounds, if Pete Rose kills that Illusion, he could damage the career of Kane.
Instead Pete Rose’s getting tombstoned in the middle of the ring during a Wrestlemania helped make the career of Glen “Kane” Jacobs. A career that continues twelve years after the fact. A man that will perform at his 13th consecutive Wrestlemania in less than three weeks.
For starters, he will always be the guy the Rockies drafted (#2 overall) ahead of Evan Longoria… and Tim Lincecum… and Max Scherzer… and Clayton Kershaw… and Kyle Drabek.
Oops.
It’s not his fault the Rockies screwed the pooch that day, but no matter what Reynolds does from now until the end of time, he will always be the Sam Bowie of the 2006 MLB Draft.
His 13 starts in 2008 won’t help matters. A 2-8 record with a 8.13 ERA, 1.76 WHIP, and a 22/26 K/BB ratio are about as brutal as it can get at the major league level.
You can’t really blame him for that either. At age 22, Reynolds clearly wasn’t ready for the limelight he was forced into as Colorado’s starting rotation crumbled. Down went Francis. Franklin Morales was a mess. Kip Wells and Valerio De La Santos proved to be as worthless as you’d expect them to be. The Rockies really had few options, and Reynolds suffered for it.
But hey, at least he gained experience that he could carry over into 2009, right?
Wrong.
One start into the Triple A season, Reynolds was shut down with a shoulder ailment. An ailment that required surgery.
Now healed, Reynolds was seemingly poised for a new beginning to his career in 2010. I mean, nothing else could possibly go wrong, right?
Wrong. Again.
Monday he was struck on his pitching elbow by a line drive during live BP. The early word was a simple bruised elbow, but you knew it wasn’t going to end that easily for Reynolds. An MRI the next day revealed a bone chip.
The word is snake-bit. The guy just can’t catch a break. When he does, it sidelines him 4-6 weeks.
At one time I said Greg Reynolds would be considered a bust if he wasn’t in the Rockies rotation by 2010. Well, that’s pretty obviously not going to happen, and not a single of it is his fault, so I will modify that statement now.
Greg Reynolds: If you ever throw a pitch at the big league level, you’re a hero. Not only a hero, but a survivor and an inspiration. All the bust best my friend! We’re all pulling for you.
That’s the comparison WWE Hall of Fame announcer Jim Ross made on his JRsBBQ.com blog.
Read where Jose Canseco is looking to dip his toe in MMA waters again and is suggesting that he fight Herschel Walker. There is no doubt that this fight would garner plenty of publicity but I can’t see much of it being positive publicity. I do agree that many would tune in to see Herschel kick Jose’s ass. Jose Canseco in a legit MMA fight is reminiscent of back in the day went some old school pro wrestling promoters would book the wrestling bear once a year. It’s a pure, gimmick/freak show attraction.
Of course the first thing Jose would tell us is the wrestling bear never lost a match.
Unfortunately, I don’t think he would realize he’s only the bear during the promotional phase of the freak show. Once the bell rings, he becomes the poor sap getting mauled into submission.
*****
You may recall Jim Ross offered some straight forward remarks last year as it related to Canseco’s MMA debut. He’s been consistent on the subject.
JR is also one of my favorite follows on Twitter: @JRsBBQ. He’s not just a wrestling guy, folks. And he attended umpiring school with Tim McClelland. That has to count for something.
Hockey
– Hockey is better than baseball.
For three hours every four years.
If you weren’t on the edge of your seat for those three hours yesterday you’re either dead, not American, not Canadian, or you were busy playing “Texas Holder” with Ozzie Guillen.
Never mind. Â Even they were into the game.
– No country loves baseball the way Canadians love their hockey.
When you watch a game like that you can understand what Bud Selig is attempting to create with the World Baseball Classic. At the same time, you understand why Bud Selig is a complete fool. It’s impossible to recreate that atmosphere in baseball. You just can’t match that no matter how hard you try or shove it down our throats.
–Â Hockey NEEDS international play to become relevant.
Baseball is fine without it. That’s just fact. So Bud can relax… the end is not near.
Unfortunately it’s back to reality today for the sport of hockey. That reality includes a lot more Atlanta Thrashers-Carolina Hurricanes games and about 50 million Americans not caring anymore.
Curling
- If curling were played every Sunday and Nascar season was jammed into a two week period every four years… I would be a very happy sports fan.
- An end is nothing like an inning.
- It’s okay to blank an end repeatedly.
- “Shustering” is the new international term for choking.
- Elfi Schlegel is one of my top 5 all-time favorite names to say.
- Pajamas pants are acceptable attire.
- It’s going to die when they run of the granite used to make their stones.
But don’t worry! That’s like hundreds of years away.
Ice Dancing
– Google Tanith Belbin.
Don’t hesitate. Go right now!
The rest of the Winter Olympics
– Are pretty boring.
But at least the United States rules at them!
@IStewart9: American Idol….anyone else get goose bumps when u hear ayoung kid just kill a song??
Hmm… Nope. Can’t say I’ve ever had goosebumps resulting from an American Idol performance.
I believe the closest I’ve really come to enjoying tolerating that show was Carrie Underwood’s season… though I can assure you that was not performance related. No goosebumps either. Tony Romo can tell you all about that.
And I’m not exactly sure which performance excited Ian to the point of sharing that information publicly.
According to our old friend Andrea Reiher, there’s been plenty of butchering and murdering of songs on the show this season, but not much of the killing that apparently excites Ian. Unless he’s really saying he enjoys watching kids choke under pressure. In that case I’m with him all the way.
Maybe he’ll elaborate for us at some point.
In Other Twitter News…
We have a few new baseball additions to the Twitter world.
@OzzieGuillen. Yup, that Ozzie Guillen. The real deal. Not one of those Ozzie Guillen impersonators that pop up from time to time.
Kenny Williams chimes in on that development.
“Are you serious? No comment … and make sure you write that it is a no comment with a headshake from side to side.”
Oh relax, Kenny. Ozzie couldn’t possibly get himself in trouble in 140 characters or less, could he?
Rob Neyer has more to say about that in his Sweet Spot.
By the way, if you have any extra Wrestlemania tickets sitting around this year, be sure to get in touch with Ozzie. He’s in the market for those.
Another fine addition to the Twitterverse is Yankees announcer @Suzyn_Waldman.
Oh my goodness gracious is that ever exciting news!  I’ve been advised that if you read her tweets in her voice they are much funnier. You kids have some fun with that.
I also encourage all of you to start following @bugs_and_cranks. We’ve actually hired something more of a human and slightly less of an automated answering machine to man that thing this season. Be on the lookout for some insightful baseball tweets very soon.
According to Troy Renk of All Things Rockies, only four players had yet to arrive to Rockies camp as of late Tuesday afternoon.
Carlos Gonzalez: Gonzalez played winterball this offseason and was scheduled to arrive some time last night.
Jason Giambi: He’s Jason Giambi. He’s a busy man He owns nightsclubs. As long as he shows up to Miller Park by the 7th inning on opening day, he’ll be fine.
Jay Payton: Who cares?
Not too concerned about any of them waiting. Here’s the problem.
Melvin Mora: Oh yeah, because the one position “utilityman” has nothing to accomplish or prove during spring training. Are you serious?
This is Jim Tracy commenting on a conference call conversation he had with Mora shortly after his signing. I guess Tracy asked him if there was a position he wasn’t ready to play.
“He said catcher, that he’d need a few days to work at it. It got a laugh…
I’m not laughing.
but I think Melvin was making a statement. ‘Just let me get to Spring Training in Tucson and start running around out there, and let me show that I’m capable of doing anything it takes to help the team win.”
Okay… well when does he plan on showing up to show us all these things he’s capable of?  Wouldn’t you assume he’d be one of the first to arrive? I sure as hell would.
EY Jr. has been there over a week working on different positions, busting his ass to make the team. Sure it’s a little different scenario for the young guys like Young, but Mora can’t just coast in here and expect to contribute at 4-5 positions when he’s been locked into one position for six seasons. He’s 38. This can’t be as easy an adjustment as he’s making it out to be.
Ugh. I already had pretty low expectations for this marriage working out. This isn’t helping.
Get your ass to camp, Mora.
…in the 24 1/2th Century.
No, this entry is not about the classic Daffy Duck cartoon (a personal favorite of mine) from years gone by, it’s an entry on one of the biggest cartoon characters in the game of baseball today.
All good things must come to an end.
So must all bad, weird, bizarre and tumultuous things.
I don’t know how you’d classify Manny Ramirez’s time in LA — it’s probably a little of all of the above — but the bottom line to life is all things must end.
According to Manny, the end is near.
“I won’t be here next year, so I just want to enjoy myself. I don’t know (if I’ll play next year). I just know I’m not going to be here. When the season is over, I will see where I’m at.”
Sounds like Dodger fans finally get a little bit of good news heading into 2010. Too bad it’s too little, too late to help them improve their team in 2010.
Manny went on to say…
“I will just wait and see how my body reacts (this season). From the waist down, I feel 15. From the neck up, I feel 43. I feel good.”
I thought the fertility pills were supposed to correct that imbalance.
Maybe not.
Anyway… Manny’s entire body will actually turn 38 at the end of May. He’s not likely to help the Dodgers in the outfield. Judging from the mindset he appears to be in now he may not help them in any way, shape, or form in 2010. Of course that could all change today when he shows up to camp and says yesterday never happened.
Who the hell knows? He’s Manny.
There’s only one person in the world who thinks, acts, and talks like Manny… and that person just happens to be Manny.
Stay tuned.
The biggest news story in baseball yesterday was Mark McGwire’s revelation of past flirtatious behavior with the Rockies and Mariners over their hitting coach positions.
That’s more than McGwire was willing to reveal about his past steroid abuse, and I guarantee you it’s more interesting than anything Tiger Woods will say in his pointless, pre-scripted press conference that’s about to take place in a couple hours.
The second biggest news story in baseball yesterday was Ted Lilly’s good knee started barking at him, sending Cubs fans into their earliest state of panic ever. Previous record was April 6th back in 1997.
The third biggest news story in baseball yesterday (barely edging out Mike MacDougal’s signing with the Marlins) was the Dodgers signing of Eric Gagne to a minor-league contract.
Here’s a recap of the headlines in case you missed that.
- Welcome Back to the Jungle? (Sons of Steve Garvey)
- Eric Gagne Back To The Jungle (True Blue LA)
- Down in ‘Jungle’-land: Eric Gagne signs minor league deal (Dodger Thoughts)
Did you know “Welcome to the Jungle” was Eric Gagne’s theme song in LA?
Of course you didn’t. Dodgers fans didn’t know because they were long gone from the stadium at that point. The rest of us didn’t know because we all just shut the TV off and went to bed before the bullpen gates opened. He was automatic. There was no sense losing that extra 5-6 minutes of sleep while he shut your team down 1-2-3.
Now we know. That was a damn good song choice. And LA is a damn good place for the broken down, steroid free Gagne to be again in 2010. Especially when his only alternative was the Rockies.
Welcome back to the jungle indeed. Glad you stayed the hell away from the Ponderosa.
- Braun Puts the T and A in EOE by Tyler Maas
- This Week’s Biggest Tool? by Mark Townsend
- Week 5 Strat-O-Matic winner: Jared from Iowa by Patrick Smith
- Blue Jays Pitching Woes? Call Chalk, Eh? by David Chalk
- A New Spin on Bad “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” Performances by Mark Townsend
