Bugs & Cranks Home
Bugs & Cranks
August 9, 2007 at 12:10 am ET
Asterisks Are Forever: A Barry Bonds Movie

View full cast list

(As narrated by James Earl Jones)

The debut feature film from the Bugs & Cranks film studio.

The producers of previous Barry Bonds films: From Balco With Love, The Clear is Not Enough, OctoberPussy, License to Cheat, and For Greg Anderson Eyes Only; team up with the Bugs & Cranks film studio for the latest in their series of Bonds films.

The story begins in Pittsburgh, where young Bonds (Don Cheadle) makes his splash in the Steel City in the spring of 1986. We witness the highs of winning his first MVP, Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards. And the lows of Sid Bream scoring from second base ahead of Bonds throw from left field; eliminating Pittsburgh in Game 7 of the NLCS.

The scene shifts to San Francisco as 1993 approaches. Barry Bonds (Mekhi Phifer) signs the largest contract ever seen in baseball to join the Giants. During his early Giant years Bonds cements his legacy as one of baseball all-time greats — making history with his power, speed, keen eye, golden glove, and laser throwing arm.

Barry Bonds is the talk of the baseball world and then comes the home run chase of 1998.

For the first time in his storied career Bonds finds himself on the outside looking in. The spotlight is fading; the headlines, and magazine covers are a thing of the past. What will our hero do? With a future hall of fame enshrinement already locked up; Bonds embarks on a new mission; to reclaim his spotlight.

It begins with a call to an old friend; Greg Anderson (Jose Canseco), and a visit to Balco Laboratories.

It ends with controversy, shattered records, grand jury testimony, and the wrath of baseball fans all over the world directed right at him.

Oh yes, Barry Bonds regains his spotlight, but at what price to the credibility of the game of baseball, and at what price to his own health?

Relive the grand jury testimony where Bonds (Michael Clarke Duncan) admits he unknowingly used illegal steroids; the clear and the cream,and decide for yourself. Has Barry Bonds set a new standard for excellence in baseball history, or should his legacy forever be marked by one little symbol? *

It’s an all-star cast.

Forrest Whitaker is splendiferous in nailing the role of Dusty Baker. All of Dusty classic cliches are here.. I didn’t  see anything dude. It’s too hot man. Dude, man, I don’t know anything.

Martin Landau gives an Oscar worthy performance as the stuttering, twitching, and back-pedaling baseball Commissioner Bud Selig.

American Idol Taylor Hicks makes his motion picture debut as Barry Bonds’s lapdog, ESPN’s Pedro Gomez.

And, Gary Coleman warms the screen with his portrayal of Darren Baker.

It’s Asterisks Are Forever, and it’s coming to theatres near you this fall.


Don Cheadle Barry Bonds (1986-1993)
Mekhi Phifer Barry Bonds (1994-1999)
Michael Clarke Duncan Barry Bonds (2000 – present)
Martin Landau Bud Selig
Danny Glover Bobby Bonds
Chuck D Willie Mays
Harry Dean Stanton Jim Leyland
Forrest Whitaker Dusty Baker
Gary Coleman Darren Baker
Rosie O’Donnell Brian Sabean
Kevin Costner Duane Kuiper
Barry Bostwick Mike Krukow
David Huddleston Jon Miller
Sherman Hemsley Joe Morgan
Taylor Hicks Pedro Gomez
John C. Reilly Bruce Bochy
Abe Vigoda Joe Torre
William Hurt Victor Conte
Jose Canseco Greg Anderson
Garth Brooks Troy Ellerman (Balco Attorney)
Special Appearance:
Halle Berry
Kim Bell
Shaquille O’Neal’s hands Kim Bell’s hands
Alex Rodriguez himself
Edward Norton Jeff Kent
LL Cool J Gary Sheffield
John Cho Byung Hyun Kim
Ethan Embry Clay Hensley
Baron Von Raschke Mike Bacsik
Steve Hulkower Crazed fan #1
David Chalk Crazed fan #2
Read more: , ,
Print  |  Email  |  Share/Save
10 Responses to “Asterisks Are Forever: A Barry Bonds Movie”
  1. David Chalk David Chalk says:

    Townie — Bravo. You’re like the second coming of Albert Broccoli.
    Other than the title, this is very funny and thankfully not mean-spirited — even I can admit there’s enough mockery to go around. But why am I only crazed fan #2?

  2. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my road ho. She’s called the OctoberPussy

  3. ChuckDickens says:


  4. Dan Tobin Dan Tobin says:

    Stupendous. And whoever came up with Sherman Helmsley as Joe Morgan deserves additional praise.

  5. Dwright5 says:

    Please find a way to make a trailer out of this. PLEASEEEEEEEE!!!!! Hilarious guys.

  6. Brad Bortone Brad Bortone says:


  7. Bada Bing says:

    I would rather see Gary Oldman as Jeff Kent. Otherwise, awesome job

  8. Brock says:

    One of the funniest pages I’ve ever read…I literally laughed for 20 minutes looking at Michael Clarke Duncan’s picture and imagining that voice playing Bonds of present…great work!

Leave a Reply

Latest Posts
Our Sponsors
Vividseats.com is your premier internet destination for all MLB Baseball Tickets, such as Phillies Tickets, Cubs Tickets, LA Dodgers Tickets, Pirates Tickets, Marlins Tickets, and many more.
SecureYourSeat.com are able to provide you with a great selection of Premier League tickets including Arsenal tickets, Manchester United tickets, Liverpool tickets and Chelsea tickets. We also stock a fine selection of Champions League tickets including Champions League final tickets.
Best online sports betting bonuses and promotions at Sportsbetting.com. Join now the most secure online sportsbook!
For a selection of online slots games and casino reviews visit Online Slots Entertainment, a leader in online slot machines since 2003.
AllianceTickets.com carries all MLB Tickets including Colorado Rockies Tickets, Seattle Mariners Tickets and San Francisco Giants Tickets. They carry all Sports Tickets at discount prices.
With Texas Holdem Masters you can get information about the hottest trends in the popular Texas Holdem Poker game, with strategies and tricks so that you can be a master too. At Gambling Experts your poker skills will be upgraded from being an amateur to being an expert.

windows 7 key

windows 7 key

serial winzip 11

serial winzip 11 key

serial corel draw 11

serial corel draw 11 serials

photo shop key

photo shop key

free corel photoshop download

free corel photoshop download keygen

adobe free

adobe free

winrar password cracker serial

wirar password cracker

winrar 3 download

winrar 3 download freedownload

office 2010 professional key

office 2010 key

download photo shop free

photo shop serial

free winrar download for xp

download winrar for xp for free

cs5 serialz

cs5 serialz free

windows 7 free

windows 7 crack

free corel downloads

free corel downloads cracked

office 2010 free

office 2010 key

key office 2010

office 2010 key

photoshop key

photoshop key

windows key

windows key

corel dvd moviefactory 6

corel dvd moviefactory 6 downloads