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December 18, 2007 at 3:58 am ET
The Mitchell Report’s Greatest Hits

Thought you heard all there was to hear about the Mitchell Report? You’re wrong!

Bugs & Cranks Records, along with Senator George Mitchell, MLB and the MLBPA have collaborated on the ultimate “Mitchell Report” soundtrack.

This Two Disc collection features performances from all of your favorite “Mitchell Report” stars, and some of your least favorites as well.

On Disc one:

Barry Bonds, with a little help from Michael Vick, takes on an Elvis Presley original.

Bud Selig cheers us up with the lone hit of one hit wonder, Bobby McFerrin.

Donald Fehr puts on his dancing shoes and top hat to perform a Broadway classic from the musical “Chicago”.

You’ll also hear a heart-wrenching number from Andy Pettitte, as he apologizes to longtime friend Roger Clemens for coming clean, further putting Clemens’ reputation in question.

On Disc two:

It’s the complete 409 page “Mitchell Report” as written by Senator George Mitchell, and read in it’s entirety by Bugs & Cranks staff writer, David Chalk.

It’s the soundtrack of the year! It’s the perfect stocking stuffer for that baseball fan in your life! And it’s available in stores TODAY!

Track listing

Disc One:

1. “Razzle Dazzle
Performed by Donald Fehr
Written by John Kander and Fred Ebb

2. “Rocket Man
Performed by Roger Clemens
Written by Elton John and Bernie Taupin

3. “We Didn’t Start The Fire
Performed by Victor Conte and the Balco Labratories Seven
Written by Billy Joel

4. “Jailhouse Rock
Perfromed by Barry Bonds featuring Michael Vick
Written by Jerry Leiber, Mike Stoller and Elvis Presley

5. “Ladies and Gentlemen
Performed by Senator George Mitchell
Written by Josey Scott (Saliva)

6. “Hard To Say I’m Sorry
Performed by Andy Pettitte
Written by Peter Cetera (Chicago) and David Foster

7. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Performed by Commissioner Bud Selig
Written by Bobby McFerrin

8. “Centerfield
Performed by F.P. Santangelo
Written by John Fogerty

9. “Macho Man
Performed by Mo Vaughn, Gary Sheffield, Jim Parque, Denny Neagle, Rafael Palmeiro & John Rocker
Written by Jacques Morali, Henri Belolo, Victor Willis (Village People) and Peter Whitehead

10. “Dirty Laundry
Performed by Jose Canseco
Written by Don Henley and Danny Kortchmar

11. “Call Me
Performed by Paul LoDuca
Written by Debbie Harry (Blondie) and Giorgio Moroder

12. “Friends In Low Places
Performed by Jason and Jeremy Giambi
Written by Dewayne Blackwell, Earl Bud Lee and Garth Brooks

Disc Two:

1. “Mitchell Report”
Read by David Chalk
Written by Senator George Mitchell

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3 Responses to “The Mitchell Report’s Greatest Hits”
  1. David Chalk David Chalk says:

    I’m offended by your associating Barry Bonds with Michael Vick (and with ELVIS). While I support Michael Vick 100% and am disgusted that he is spending a single day in jail — he has been entrapped into pleading guilty and perhaps did somethings he shouldn’t have. The G-POPE will not being going to jail, and I’ve never heard of him harming any living creature (except maybe Jeff Kent, who doesn’t really count).

    And Elvis, despite his public denials, had his own doctors to allow him to habitually and chronically abuse prescription drugs. Back then the feds rewarded him with his own DEA badge.

    As for me reading the Mitchell Report (on one disc!) — there better be a lot of cash in it for me, because like Game Of Shadows, it’s something I never intend to read.

  2. Matt Brown says:

    Just… take… the… joke.

  3. How do you spell retard? says:

    Saliva…I hate that band more than Hitler and Dane Cook combined.

    And shouldn’t John Rocker sing something solo. Like that song the fat guy(Ethan Suplee) was singing in his car in American History X. Or Rocker can sing Borat Sagydiev’s “Throw the Jew Down the Well”.

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