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September 26, 2008 at 3:22 am ET
Townie’s Top 5: Managers That Should Be Fired Immediately

You're fired, grandpa!  1. Jim Leyland

Maybe it’s just a personal issue with me and Jim.テつ No, it’s not a maybe, it is personal.

The Tigers have already confirmed that Leyland will remain their manager next season, and “Old Smokey” himself has already stated he doesn’t plan on tucking tail and running away like he did in Colorado in 1999.

So he’s coming back, and he’s coming back despite the following evaluation I’ve just performed on his Tigers.

[X] Highest payroll in the division.

[X] Best talent in the division.

[ ] Best record in the division.

[X] Worst record in the division.

I don’t care what the Tigers say, I’m firing the grumpy old cuss.

2. Bruce Bochy

You dumbass, you’re wasting away the best arm in baseball, in a lost season, so he can win the Cy Young Award.テつ In case you haven’t noticed, the recent 110, 120, 130+ pitch outings are not only putting a cloud over your teams immediate future, it’s costing him the frickin award.

He set the single season Giants strikeout record.テつ Great.テつ He’s also added a couple losses and gone from first in the ERA battle to third.テつ And then you’ve bumped him ahead in the order to assure he gets one more start this weekend.テつ Brilliant.

Looks like Giants won’t be relevant again until 2014.

3. Charlie Manuel

For me it’s always a wonder how Charlie keeps his job.テつ Playoffs or not, the Phillies always seem to play a notch or three below the level they’re capable of.テつ This weekend should be meaningless for them, the Mets should be long dead and buried, yet here we go again with the Phils.

Do I need mention their embarrassing exit from the 2007 playoffs again?

4. Dusty Baker

This marriage just doesn’t make any sense to me.テつ What’s the point Cincinnati?テつ There’s no Barry Bonds or Sammy Sosa there to cover for Dusty’s incompetence.テつ You do have the young pitchers (Volquez and Cueto) that he seems to enjoy running into the ground though.テつ (see: Wood and Prior)

That’s not a good thing.

If you’re looking for a manager during a rebuilding period, Baker would be near the bottom of my list of candidates.テつ Unless you plan on featuring Jerry Hairston, Corey Patterson, and Paul Bako as big parts of your future.

Dusty would be near the bottom of many lists unless it involved fishing and/or baseball’s best excuse makers.

5. Ned Yost

Yes I realize he’s already been fired.テつ Fire his ass again.

Brewers GM Doug MelvinIf I were Doug Melvin, I’d call Yost’s cell phone and fire him everyday until he changes his number.

If I were Doug Melvin, I’d call Bobby Cox and tell him he’s off my trusted reference list.

If I were Doug Melvin, I’d petition my friend Bud to get moved back to the AL so Ryan Braun or Prince Fielder never had to wear a glove again.

If I were Doug Melvin, I’d have a really awesome mustache.

Donald — a little help wrapping this thing up?


Is there anybody you’d like to add or remove from my list?

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2 Responses to “Townie’s Top 5: Managers That Should Be Fired Immediately”
  1. Eddie says:

    As a Cubs fan, I want Dusty to stay RIGHT where he is now. That’s a team with a ton of talent coming up now, and he’ll waste it by playing Patterson and Bako (no Neifi Perez?) and destroy his talented pitchers like he’s already started to do. Mark my words, Aaron Harang will never be the same. Cueto and Volquez will not escape the wrath of Captain Toothpick either.

  2. chumpstain says:

    Think the Brewers are wishing they’d pulled the trigger sooner?

    Detroit has more problems than Leyland. That whole team feels stale.

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