Here’s the laundry list of crappy shitty Woody suggestions published in the Denver Post this morning… with a little thought from me attached to each.
1 — Trade relief help and Eric Young Jr. to the bullpen-starved Marlins for second baseman Dan Uggla
I’m in favor of anything that precludes the Marlins announcers from doing their stupid Dan Uggla HR call.
Except taking him on the Rockies.
Sure, they could use a little pop, but couldn’t they get a little pop — at a cheaper rates, with better defense and less strikeouts — from a guy like… oh… say… Jhonny Peralta?Â Or Ty Wigginton?Â Maybe not.
Also… Just say NO to Ryan Theriot.Â And Cesar Izturis.Â Those names are making my skin crawl.
2 — Trade catcher Chris Iannetta for a young first baseman.
To to say you want a young first baseman in return is one thing.Â To find a team willing to part with a young first baseman is another.Â To find a team that is willing to both trade a young first baseman and accept Chris Iannetta in return may be mission impossible.
3 — Release Jason Giambi after the end of interleague games.
Why wait?Â You don’t think Seth Smith is capable of DHing for three days?
4 — Bring Dexter Fowler back from the Sky Sox to start in center field again.
This doesn’t even count as a suggestion.Â This is going to happen and everyone already knows this is going to happen.
5 — Promote veteran outfielder Jay Payton to the major-league team as a pinch hitter and make Paul Phillips the backup catcher.
I guess we’re giving Giambi’s spot to Jay Payton?
Phillips I have no problem with.Â Fills in admirably when called upon.Â Very professioanl guy.
6 — Consider picking up Cory Sullivan, the former Rockies center fielder who has just been demoted by the Astros, or Springs first baseman Brad Eldred, as a left-handed pinch hitter.
At this point whatever Woody’s drinking is really starting to kick in.Â Just taking notes here.Â Fowler’s back up.Â Payton’s up.Â Now we’re thinking about adding Sullivan.Â That’s seven outfielders.
Eldred is just a guy that hits the ball a mile once a week.Â Let the fans in Colorado Springs continue to enjoy that.
7 –Agree with manager Jim Tracy to give Brad Hawpe a chance to play for a few days at first base, and make certain that Carlos Gonzalez hits third in the lineup every day.
It’s worth experimenting with Hawpe there.Â I’ll give Woody this one on both accounts.
8 — And call up Kaz Matsui as the backup at second and/or acquire second baseman Akinori Iwamura from the Pirates’ organization for either Greg Smith or Chaz Roe, each a starter in Colorado Springs.
He loses me again.Â What do either of these guys offer you that’s guaranteed to be better than Jonathan Herrara or Chris Nelson?
9 – Go with a rotation in July of the four J’s (in this order) â€” Ubaldo Jimenez, Jhoulys Chacin, Jeff Francis and Jorge De La Rosa, and Aaron Cook and Jason Hammel alternating as the fifth starter (unless Hammel remains on his recent roll).
The stupidity here leaps off the Paige.Â Alternating the 5th starter is almost as asinine as Clint Hurdle’s short-lived four-man rotation gimmick.Â Making Jason Hammel one-half of that platoon cannot even be summed up in words.
10 – The batting order would be: Fowler CF, Smith/Spilborghs LF, Gonzalez RF, Uggla 2B, Hawpe 1B, Stewart 3B, Olivo C, Barmes SS, pitcher. Todd Helton goes to the bench.
And here’s that bench again.Â Helton, Smith/Spilborghs, Phillips, Payton, Sullivan/Eldred, Matsui/Iwamura.Â He never mentioned Melvin Mora, Jonathan Herrera or Chris Nelson.Â Â Are we to assume they’re all sent out as well, leaving the Rockies with one of the least flexible NL benches ever put together?Â Or do we assume the Rockies will go with an eight man pitching staff?
If Woody Paige were running the Rockies, the team would most certainly accomplish the impossible.Â By that I mean, the Rockies would most certainly catch the Diamondbacks for last place in the NL West.