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January 30, 2012 at 8:49 pm ET
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Fernon’s Anaheim Landlord

Dear Abner,

I currently find myself in a rather awkward situation and was hoping you could give me a few words of advice. I run an apartment complex in Anaheim with nine studio units for rent. I cater mostly to international clientele but have a wide range of ages within that group.

Early last year a long-time tenant, Juan, was forced rather suddenly to move out of the country for work. Because he was unable to give sufficient notice, we had to find a replacement as quickly as possible. Our gardener, Tony, said he knew a guy who’d be great for the open room. I’m usually thorough in my background checks for prospective tenants, but given the time-crunch and Tony’s high praise, I went with it.

This guy—let’s call him Fernon—seemed nice enough. The four-year lease was probably a bit much, but I was in a tight spot after our other potential lessees moved elsewhere.

Oh, how I wish I hadn’t agreed to that deal.

Fernon has been an absolute disaster. I spent an otherworldly amount of money to get the apartment up to his specifications, and now he rarely even shows up. Last year Fernon managed to have the worst on-site percentage of any full-time tenant in the outer flats since 1904. 1904! He just doesn’t contribute around here.

He keeps promising to be better and telling me to not be “stressed” about it, but it’s just not happening. A few months ago I got so fed up with Fernon that I put Tony on permanent trash duty for recommending him.

To make matters worse, I have the perfect replacement and nowhere to put him. Pete in apartment 8 had a young lad from Arkansas named Mike sub-let his place for a few weeks in July. Mike expressed incredible interest in Fernon’s place but my hands are tied! He’s back in Arkansas for the time being—waiting for an opening—but he won’t hold out forever.

Please, help!

Sincerely,

 

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