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August 30, 2007 at 6:44 am ET
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Kyle Farnsworth may have broken my wife’s toe

Last night’s game, like all games going forward, are must-wins for the Yankees.  Roger Clemens got the win last nightAnd at certain points it seemed like a turn-back-the-clock type of affair. 

Clemens had moments when he was sharp.  Or maybe he was just stingy – the final tally showed him throwing 98 pitches, walking 5, hitting Dustin Pedroia (more on this guy below) and giving up a monstrous homerun to David Ortiz.

But it was Kyle Farnsworth’s antics once again that partially ruined the night. 

Spotted a 4-1 lead, Farnsworth arrived in the 8th inning and promptly served up a 2-run shot to Kevin Youkilis that brought the BoSox back.  This caused me to stand up and scream at the television, leaping off the couch onto my wife’s big toe.

Of course, this created a game-delay, what with her clutching her foot and howling, and me only two seconds into my conniption.  And even after I reminded her of Farnsworth’s bastard maneuvers late in the game that had led to prior conniptions (though no broken toes), she still insisted that if I was going to act like a child, then I shouldn’t watch baseball.

“But I’m not to blame,” I calmly explained.  “It was Farnsworth again.”

“It might be broken!”

“You remember Farnsworth – remember how much I told you we hate him.”

“Oh my gawd!  It really hurts!”

“He’s the guy that ruins games for us – you really don’t remember?  That surprises me, you usually have such a good memory.”

Recurrent goat Kyle Farnsworth gave up a critical homerun last night, and may have broken my wife's big toe.Sure, Farnsworth has been better since phenom Joba Chamberlain arrived, scaring him into thinking he might lose his job.  And I agree – Joba cannot throw every inning.  But the thing is – I always HEAR about how well Farnsworth pitched, I never SEE it with my own eyes.

At any rate, Kyle, add that to your line last night – 0.2 innings pitched, 2 hits, a walk, 2 earned runs, and one (possibly) broken big toe. And right in the middle of a pennant race.  Attaboy Kyle!


The Red Sox lineup is nothing to fear without Manny Ramirez, who was out with a sore back.  When I learned prior to the game that he would be sitting this one out, I was instantly more confident.  From my perspective, he turns that team into champions.  But without him, it’s just 9 guys I don’t like.  I take that back, make that 8 guys.  I like Dustin Pedroia. 

I’d never seen Pedroia before last night.  Or maybe I did and I just don’t remember.  But he plays every minute like it’s his last game, and I have to admit – I kind of admire that even if he’s dressed as the enemy.  It’s a guy like that that makes Yankee fans fear the Red Sox potential.  At any rate, from here on out, the Yanks cannot be hoping to settle for 2 of 3 in any series.


As for the big toe, things were quiet in the apartment this morning.  Of course, she was limping around, really doing it up, reminding me that even if bastard Farnsworth initiated it, I was still the henchman that carried out the hit.  But you know what – she was a trooper.  She didn’t use crutches, she didn’t ask to be carried to her car, she just got ready for work and headed on down the road.

“Way to take one for the team last night, honey,” I said, slapping her on the butt.  “We need to see more of that around the apartment.  This is a pennant race you know.”

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One Response to “Kyle Farnsworth may have broken my wife’s toe”
  1. Zach says:

    I respect any Yankees fan who likes Dustin Pedroia. He’s the man. He just needs to go back to dominating against the Yankees like he did in the series at Fenway earlier this year.

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