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December 23, 2008 at 11:38 pm ET
Christmas at the Teixeiras’

Mark - Ah, it’s good to be back in Maryland. All the stress of the last few weeks has really made me miss home. There’s no place like home for Christmas, right mom?

Mark’s mom – Boooooo! Booooooo!

Mark - That’s OK, mom. I understand. I turned my back on my hometown and signed with the hated New York Yankees. I guess I had that coming. Hey, it’s old Rusty! C’mere, boy! Let’s play some fetch!

Rusty - Boooo! Booooo!! BOO!

Mark - Jeez. My own dog hates me. I guess I forgot how much people around here hate the Yankees. Say, dad, how bout those Ravens?

Mark’s dad – BOOO! Booooo! Booooo! Boo!

Mark - Wow. This is rough. I wonder if there’s really that big a difference between the $140 million the Orioles offered me and the $180 million I’ll get from the Steinbrenners. I guess it was worth alienating my hometown. Whoa! Look at the time! Better hurry or we’ll be late for midnight Mass.

LATER, AT CHURCH Mark - Father forgive me for I have sinned …

Mark’s priest – Booooo! BOOOOO!

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4 Responses to “Christmas at the Teixeiras’”
  1. Rocket says:

    I was suspicious when the Yankees weren’t among the four teams thought to be the only bidders for Teixeira as recently as last week, even though NY had spent big dough on Sabathia and Burnett and had Nick Swisher to play first. Why would they let the best hitter on the market get away before they at least drove his price up to even more absurd levels?

    Even though signing Tex in some ways would’ve been a departure from Andy MacPhail’s more methodical approach to team building, I was hoping the O’s would go for it. Locking up Tex long-term would’ve guaranteed they’d have a middle-of-the-lineup star when they no longer stink.

    I don’t hate Mark Teixeira, but there’s no way I’ll root for him, either. BOOOOOOOOOOO!

  2. Jeff says:


    So you are predicting that the O’s will no longer stink sometime in the next 8 years. That’s pretty bold, must be you know something that nobody else does (especially your owner and GM).

  3. Boras + John Henry’s bluff + Yankees = obscene deal. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner.

    I never really thought Tex was coming here. But I did let myself get a little too excited about it when Anaheim backed out and Boston bluffed.

    Teixeira in NY reminds me of the old Steve Martin routine about being so wealthy he bought a fur sink. NY didn’t need him, but bought him anyway.

  4. Nato says:

    I emerged from a 2 week bender to read this article. It might be old news, but solid work Smitty.

    The one consolation. He’s not a National. Hahahaha, I bet Ryan Zimmerman is booing him too.

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