H-hunh? Iâ€™m awake! Iâ€™m awake! What is it?!
Itâ€™s January, Dan! Twenty- fourteen!
Yeah â€¦ so?
So you gotta get a team together! You donâ€™t have any pitchers! Pitchers, Dan!
I got pitchers. Whaddya mean, I donâ€™t have any pitchers?
Uh â€¦ good pitchers, Dan. Major league pitchers.
Hell-ooo? Chris Tillman? Miguel Gonzalez? Dylan Bundy? Kevin Gausman? Wei-Yin Chen? Ever hearda those guys?
Thatâ€™s your opening day rotation?
No, no. Iâ€™m gonna get somebody else. A number one.
Are you, Dan? Are you really?
Sure! Iâ€™m just â€¦ waiting.
Youâ€™re not waiting, Dan! Youâ€™re snoozing!
Well, whatever. You think Iâ€™m not busting my hump? How â€˜bout David Lough? Or Francisco Peguero?
Great! You have 13 triple-A left fielders! How about a closer?
Well â€¦ we did get Jemile Weeks for Jim Johnson.
Canâ€™t hit, doesnâ€™t get on base. The total package, Dan! How about that whole Grant Balfour thing?
Câ€™mon, he was hurt.
Says you! Everyone else in America thought he was fine. Look, we all know what this team needs: a big bat, a starter and a closer! The free agents are drying up. So whatâ€™re you gonna do, Dan?
Donâ€™t worry about it. Iâ€™ll be ready.
Last spring, the consensus was that everything would have to fall exactly right for the Orioles to contend again. And everything did not fall exactly exactly right, Dan.
No, it sure didnâ€™t.
And it looks even shakier this year! The offense is decent, especially when Machado comes back healthy. But itâ€™s hardly a canâ€™t-miss.
Itâ€™ll be fine.
And the starters, Dan. You better drop by Pimlico and load up on horseshoes, cause youâ€™re gonna need a lot of luck for that rotation to carry this team.
Quit worryinâ€™. Itâ€™ll all work out. Now if youâ€™ll excuse me, Iâ€™m going to finish my nap.