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Bugs & Cranks
November 12, 2007 at 2:04 pm ET
Worse than I thought

I read about Aubrey Huff’s little radio adventure in Saturday’s Baltimore Sun. I should have known there was more to the story.

I admit it. I failed you. When I wrote my post about Huff last night, I admit that I hadn’t read any transcripts of the segment he did on Sirius Satellite Radio’s “Bubba the LoveAubrey Huff made a mess on Sirius. Sponge” show.

After further review, the transcripts are, um, worse than I thought. (Big props to hometown sports radio WNST for the full transcripts. The guys who run that station are cheesy, but they know how to run down a story.)

Jeez. No wonder Andy MacPhail’s pissed. I thought Huff’s only transgression on the show was to declare Baltimore a “horseshit” city. (Which it may or may not be. But I don’t need a $20 million, second-rate rent-a-bat to tell me that.)

In fact, Huff embarrassed the organization on the show by generally behaving like the dumbest party boy you’ve ever met. And he was, um, candid about how he occupies his time on the road. Let’s just say we’re glad he wears batting gloves.

In 1970, Jim Bouton published Ball Four, an irreverent and candid memoir of one season in the major leagues. Bouton was castigated for breaking some unwritten code of silence, recalling his days with the Yankees and reporting on Mickey Mantle’s and Billy Martin’s drinking and other things that poked a hole in baseball’s aw-shucks mystique. But Bouton’s book and R-rated language – at the time, shocking – was important and groundbreaking.

So, why is it different when Aubrey Huff boasts that he’s had sex with 300 women and orders porn in his hotel room?

Because it’s stupid. Huff was led to the slaughter by a couple of satellite radio boneheads who talk like this all the time. (It’s not clear, but Huff may have been drunk on the air.) And he proceeded to act like a knucklehead for about an hour and a half.

Hope he enjoyed it. Whether MacPhail can trade Huff or not, I can’t imagine Aubrey will ever wear an Orioles uniform again.

I hope not, anyway.

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2 Responses to “Worse than I thought”
  1. His name is “Aubrey.” OF COURSE he’s had sex with 300 women.

  2. Jim says:

    I remember a song from the 70’s called Aubrey. I think it was about a girl.

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