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October 9, 2008 at 2:51 pm ET
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ALCS Preview: You Bet Your Hair!

Perhaps David will opt to use the Kid KlipsWith the the American League Championship Series, featuring the defending World Champion Red Sox and the upstart wannabe champs Tampa Bay DevilRays, set to begin tomorrow night in lovely downtown St. Pete, Iテつ proposed a wager to my esteemed, Mohawk & Muppet-obsessed colleague, Senor Chalk,テつbased on the outcome of the series.

Despite being the lead engineer on the Rays bandwagon train, heテつinitially balked at the idea, butテつwhen I reminded him thatテつhe has stated many times that his teamテつwas most assuredly going to prevail in this matchup, he relented and agreed to the bet.

And so in carrying on a long-standing tradition here at the offices of B&C, most recently upheld by our Twins writer Landon Evanson, I present to you the J Rose/D Chalk ALCS Hair-Razing Wager:

If the Boston Red Sox win the series, Mr. Chalk will have to cut off his hair-larious faux-Rayshawk and revert to the classy, close-shaved coif that I have been sporting for the better part of the past 5-6 years.

This ‘do is as low maintenance as it gets, requiring just a pair of clippers,テつa dab of shampoo and a quick towel dry, and is guaranteed to make him the talk of any meeting, party or other gathering.David will look sharp in a smart 'do like this, right?

But if his beloved Rays should happen to defy the odds and keep this miraculous, fairy tale season alive and advance to the World Series for the first time in their long & storied history, well…

…I think you can guess what’s coming next…

I will take the plunge and turn my buzz cut into a landing strip.

Now I know what you are thinking – my hair is already short, so what’s the big deal if I trim it down a little more on the sides and hide a faux-hawk up there? But I have already taken measures to prevent any cries of welshing here.

First David imposed a moratorium on my weekly shavings, which began on Tuesday, so barring a sweep, my dome should be plenty hirsute enough to pull the look off when and IF the time comes to do so.

Secondly, I will not go the Chalk/Joe Maddon/BJ Upton faux-Hawk route and just leave a little raised bump in the middle of my head full of hair.

No, I will be going all out, Travis Bickle/Zachary Sharples style, with no hair on the sides and an unsightly, extremely noticeable Mohawk on the top. Just in time for Halloween!

Yeah, I know, Sox fans have balls. We don’t do anything the cheap way.

So by October 19th, one of us will have a noticeably different appearance than we do right now. Of course we will document the outcome with a visual post, as well as a concession speech along the line of Lando’s that will let everyone know that the better team did prevail in this series.

Stay tuned, loyal B&C readers, because this ALCS just got a lot more interesting.

At least for a couple of us and our immediate, sure-to-be-embarrasedテつfamilies.

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5 Responses to “ALCS Preview: You Bet Your Hair!”
  1. Jeff says:

    I think the winner should get to pick the design, not necessarily a mohawk or shorn cranium. I was thinking a bit more creatively, like a sideways mohawk from ear to ear, or a flock-of-seagulls-esque do, or even the Road-Warriors(think WWF) reverse mohawk. Now that would make things even more interesting.

  2. I did give some thought to shaving the other team’s logo in the head. Now that might up the ante considerably!

  3. B.E. Earl says:

    I hate to admit it, but I think I have to root for the Sox in this series.

    Good luck, man!

  4. Believe me, earl, I’m rooting for them even harder now!
    Thx for the support.

  5. brian hall says:

    You should have to wear your pubic hair as a beard for 2 days. That’s more gooder.

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