Bugs & Cranks Home
Bugs & Cranks
July 28, 2014 at 4:38 pm ET
No Comments
He Looks More Like No. 2 Every Day

What surprised me about Troy Tulowitzki being seated in the rows behind home plate at Yankee Stadium on Sunday?

That he could afford the ticket. (Rimshot.)

Very subtly played, Mr. Tulowitzki. Ugh. Parked where nobody but everybody could see you stepping out on the Rockies. So, it really is about the name on the back of the shirt?

TuloYes, yes, some knucklehead in promotions misspelled Troy’s name on the back of a giveaway/throwaway jersey on Saturday, and nobody noticed the mistake until there were, like, 15,000 freshly minted “Tulowizki” fans proudly displaying one more example that these are your Colorado Rockheads.

That’s embarrassing, but it happens. I’ve followed Tulo and the Rox since before he was a twinkle in their eyes, and I still look his name up each time I blog about the team’s biggest star and supposed leader. I’m sure I’ve screwed it up anyway a time or three. He doesn’t read my foolishness, but I guess a misspelled, craptastic, giveaway T-shirt can get his attention and really piss him off.

So now you put 2 and 2 together: an offended Tulowitzki showing up the unappreciative Rockies by making it clear, as visibly as possible, that he wants to replace his favorite player, Derek Jeter (the reason he wears No. 2), at shortstop in the Bronx next season. And he’ll willingly play the bad guy for the first time in, like, ever if it gets him out of the losing environment in Denver. He’ll make the GM and ownership as mad at him as he is frustrated with them so they’ll let him go.


Perhaps, as Tulowitzki explains, he was just at Yankee Stadium to see Jeter play live one more time. He was visiting the doctor in nearby Philly anyway. And with $108 million big ones (and more if he’s traded) coming to him, the price of tickets a few rows from the field at Yankee Stadium didn’t sting enough to keep him away. OK, I guess …

But wait, didn’t he just see Jeter play, in person, from field level, fist-bump distance, at the All-Star Game? Isn’t that a perfect final memory?


My mother-in-law was a military spouse, a difficult assignment if your partner has a tendency to get shipped out and away from you for years at a time. Her self-defense as departure time approached was to work herself up, to make herself angry at her husband, turning every little thing into a slight, every wrongly worded sentence into a personal attack, every ketchup bottle left on the kitchen table into an unforgivable outrage — all so she wouldn’t miss him so damn much.

And it’d work … for about an hour after he’d left. Then, like any of us would, she’d fall apart anyway.

That didn’t stop her from repeating the routine the next time around.

Apparently I’ve learned nothing from the fatal flaw in her strategy because I’m:

  • Turning a visit to the House That Ruth Didn’t Build (and Couldn’t Afford a Seat In Anyway) by Tulowitzki into a sign that we were wrong about him all along. He must be a jerk to mock us so openly.
  • Wishing one more soon-to-be-albatross contract on the hated Yankees, just because I love how the CC Sabathia, A-Rod, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Carlos Beltran deals are going to end up looking.
  • Criticizing the aggressiveness that leads to so many first-pitch pop-ups as foolhardiness, conveniently forgetting how many first pitches have flown out of the park.
  • Suddenly seeing Tulo’s home/road splits as a personal affront to me as a Rockies fan rather than a cheap, overrated stat used by those who don’t understand the actual Coors Field effect to devalue some really good players who’ve performed in Denver over the years.
  • Fearing that Tulo won’t miss us — that the SOB will learn to stay healthy, rock the joint in New York, consider himself the luckiest man on the face of the earth for escaping us losers and thumb his nose at us knuckleheads who can’t even spell his name.
  • A hypocrite, losing the alleged assuredness that led me to write this only six days ago.

Ah, let him go to the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately Bronx and get booed the first time he pops up with the bases loaded instead of applauded anyway for all he’s done in the same situation previously. Let him answer questions from the New York media about his inability to play through pain instead of being applauded anyway for his grit and determination in playing as long as he could.

Because Mama Mashburn and me are going to be just fine if and when this deal goes down. We won’t miss Tulo-whatzit at all.

For an inning or so, anyway.

Read more: , , , , , , ,
Print  |  Email  |  Share/Save

Leave a Reply

Latest Posts
Our Sponsors
Vividseats.com is your premier internet destination for all MLB Baseball Tickets, such as Phillies Tickets, Cubs Tickets, LA Dodgers Tickets, Pirates Tickets, Marlins Tickets, and many more.
SecureYourSeat.com are able to provide you with a great selection of Premier League tickets including Arsenal tickets, Manchester United tickets, Liverpool tickets and Chelsea tickets. We also stock a fine selection of Champions League tickets including Champions League final tickets.
Best online sports betting bonuses and promotions at Sportsbetting.com. Join now the most secure online sportsbook!
For a selection of online slots games and casino reviews visit Online Slots Entertainment, a leader in online slot machines since 2003.
AllianceTickets.com carries all MLB Tickets including Colorado Rockies Tickets, Seattle Mariners Tickets and San Francisco Giants Tickets. They carry all Sports Tickets at discount prices.
With Texas Holdem Masters you can get information about the hottest trends in the popular Texas Holdem Poker game, with strategies and tricks so that you can be a master too. At Gambling Experts your poker skills will be upgraded from being an amateur to being an expert.

windows 7 key

windows 7 key

serial winzip 11

serial winzip 11 key

serial corel draw 11

serial corel draw 11 serials

photo shop key

photo shop key

free corel photoshop download

free corel photoshop download keygen

adobe free

adobe free

winrar password cracker serial

wirar password cracker

winrar 3 download

winrar 3 download freedownload

office 2010 professional key

office 2010 key

download photo shop free

photo shop serial

free winrar download for xp

download winrar for xp for free

cs5 serialz

cs5 serialz free

windows 7 free

windows 7 crack

free corel downloads

free corel downloads cracked

office 2010 free

office 2010 key

key office 2010

office 2010 key

photoshop key

photoshop key

windows key

windows key

corel dvd moviefactory 6

corel dvd moviefactory 6 downloads