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December 11, 2013 at 2:07 pm ET
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That and a Gust of Wind …

It takes courage to admit you were wrong. It takes brains not to screw it up in the first place. We haven’t got much of either to spare. So, what do you say we just trade you a Cowardly Lion for a Scarecrow, cash your $2 million check, click our heels together and wake up back in Kansas — or Denver — like all that Ubaldo Jimenez business never happened?

Farewell, Drew Pomeranz … we knew you too well. Oakland will be a far better place to practice your wimpy act (not exactly macho citing The Wizard of Oz — but bear with me):

  • Make first two hitters of the inning look silly.
  • Get cute. Nibble.
  • Walk two guys.
  • Get spooked.
  • Go 2-0 on the next hitter.
  • Panic.
  • Groove fastball to a dude sitting … of all things … fastball.
  • Snap head around.
  • Repeat.

That kind of thing will get you a 6.23 ERA and a bus ticket out of town.

Granted, Brett Anderson has had his straw stuffing pulled out multiple times by the Flying Monkey on his back … injuries. Tommy John surgery in 2011. Stress fracture in his landing foot in 2013. But when he’s been healthy, he’s had his moments — 26-29 with a 3.81 ERA.

Both guys are only 25, even though the Wizard, Billy Beane, called shedding Anderson a bid to “get younger guys.” Hmm. (Oakland did get Chris Jensen, a 23-year-old Single A pitcher.) I guess he’s suggesting that Anderson is an “old” 25. Great. So the Rockies spun Ubaldo, he of the pay-me attitude and no-hit stuff, into two pitchers (first-round draft choices Pomeranz and Alex White) who vanished into thin air at Coors Field because they were afraid to throw strikes until it was too late.

It’s too late. It’s Brett Anderson’s turn. Says his foot’s 100 percent. Elbow’s like new. No fear of altitude.

Then welcome aboard, old man. Trust your defense. Throw strikes. Courage, and all that. And keep repeating: There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home …

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