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November 29, 2012 at 7:56 pm ET
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If The Bullpen Were A Cattle Auction …

… Jonathan Broxton would be going for around $70,000.00¬†per pound.

The Cincinnati Reds signed Reds reliever (and overall mammoth mammal) Broxton to a three year, $21 million dollar contract yesterday. My public school math tells me that¬†this puts his gravitational pull at three bills. That’s some expensive ass beef. He must be organic. Or free range. Or Kobe. Or whetever Whole Foods calls it.

This deal nails down the closer position. Although Broxton was used as a set-up man this season, he is, by trade, a closer. A good closer. A two time All-Star closer. With closing duties¬†in Broxton’s capable hands, Aroldis “The Cuban Missle”¬†Chapman could be launched into the starting rotation. Chapman has been a starting pitcher his entire young career but found himself closing games this season out of necessity due to some costly injuries, one of which cost the Reds $8.5 million just for 2012. Ryan Madson, a one-year contract gunslinger,¬†blew out his elbow¬†during spring training and eventually underwent the dreaded Tommy John surgery. Madson never hurled a single regular season pitch. After watching the 2012 season from the dugout, he promptly took his $8.5 million and rode off into the sunset to become a Los Angeles Angel. Tell Mike Trout I said, “what’s up?”

Next season will be Chapman’s fourth season with the Reds . Time to take the training wheels off. The owner of Major League Baseball’s fastest-ever pitch (105.1 MPH) could be electrifying crowds for multiple innings every fifth day. Kinda makes my heart happy…



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