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April 8, 2012 at 10:32 am ET
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And We Are Not Surprised At All…

Well, that didn’t take long.

There’s general angst and gnashing of teeth in the South Florida Cuban community because Ozzie said in an article that “I like Fidel Castro and his beard” (or something similar).

What a motorpsycho nightmare.

The Marlins and OG had to backpedal faster than a bad Dolphins defensive back after that little gem was unleashed to the public. That kind of talk is just not allowed in Miami.

I can imagine all of the PR flacks and hacks consuming Maalox by the ton and thinking of 21,518 different ways to say ‘Ozzie really didn’t mean that’.

Of all of the constituents to enrage in South Florida, the Cuban community is the one you least want to anger. It’s like pissing off the members of your local country club by demanding they pay more in taxes and give their servants Easter off. Except you’ll get more than a six-iron to the skull in the case of the Cuban community.

Of course, your intrepid reporter thinks there’s another story that makes the Cuban kerfuffle plausible.

The ink-stained wretches in Cincinnati asked Ozzie a simple question during the off-day about his habits on the road.

Ozzie, being Ozzie, basically said ‘he gets drunk and falls asleep’.

Now, he didn’t say he went out and shook his moneymaker at clubs. Basically, he said he went to the hotel bar and lobby, and then up to his room, and, well, drank until he fell asleep.

Holy Jimmy Dugan, Batman!

Ozzie said he drank in the hotel because he’s small and wouldn’t last in a fight. Of course, drinking in a hotel bar never stopped Billy Martin from getting in trouble. However, I think the placid environment of most upscale hotel lounges could preclude fisticuffs. It’s hard to get riled up in “The Yachstman” or “The Fox Huntress” as sub Kenny-G. muzak pours from the stereo speakers.

But you can imagine the scenario, right? Ozzie’s in the cups and a reporter for Time calls and within 15 minutes he’s leading the next wave of revolutionaries.

Either that or he mistook the reporter asking about Fidel Castro and thought he heard ‘Starlin Castro’. And who doesn’t like the plucky Cubs middle infielder?

At any rate, this being baseball, as long as Ozzie and the Marlins pound the ball like they did Saturday night against Cincinnati, I don’t think this will matter much in the long run.

But if the Marlins are 59-71, well, Tony Montana could definitely pay a visit to OG….


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