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May 2, 2013 at 2:12 am ET
C.J. Wilson and Josh Hamilton Star in Awful Commercial

Have you caught the Head & Shoulders commercial featuring Los Angeles Angels C.J. Wilson and Josh Hamilton? It’s pretty horrible. FOX Sports shoves it down our throats here in southern California, but I’m not sure if the rest of the country has to suffer through it, too. Damn you live sports television with your repetitive commercials.

You know the saying misery loves company? Welcome to the club.

How is C.J. not completely creeped out by Hamilton? Hamilton’s trying to find Wilson’s soul with his laser-like baby blues. It’s in the eyes, Josh. The eyes. I wish he concentrated on opposing pitchers as much as he’s concentrating on Wilson’s mouth.

I had no idea Jerry DiPoto signed Jax Teller. Hell, I didn’t even know Jax liked sports. Does his baseball contract prohibit riding motorcycles? Did he leave SAMCRO completely, or is he a PED mule, infiltrating major league clubhouses as part of another brilliantly hatched plan to fund the Sons of Anarchy’s plans to protect Charming and restock their burner phones? IS ¬†HE EVER GOING TO KILL CLAY?!?

That small font in the box reads “Visible Flakes, with regular use.” In the case you are ready to jump on Head & Shoulders for false advertisement, the text clarifies that the shampoo only decreases the dandruff one can see from two feet away and not all of the flakes. That’s what the Advertising Standards Authority ruled, anyway.

As Wilson talks to the camera before taking the mound presumably in the bottom of the first against the Reds, we see the batter wearing jersey number 25. I searched the 40-man roster of the Reds and no one wears 25 in 2013. In 2012, according to Baseball Almanac, infielder Mike Costanzo sported 25. He went 1-for-18 with a walk and ten strike outs. He also hits left-handed, so that’s not Costanzo. However, I’m sure Costanzo would hit just as well if he did bat from the right side.

Some lucky Procter & Gamble marketing intern was tasked with explaining the decision to film the commercial in Cincinnati’s Great American Ballpark to You Tube commenters. I’d rather get a job at Enterprise, work 75 hours a week and every holiday for $32,000 salary than deal with those trolls.

We learn that Reds fans are either terrified with well developed triceps or have difficulty tracking the baseball. Pro tip to the hottie on the right – it’s in his glove.

The Reds apparently don’t give a damn about opposing players’ wives and plant them in the outfield. Fortunately for¬†Katie Hamilton, Josh’s wife, that’s not the case in Arlington, where Rangers fans would have her head on a stick. Katie looks like she’s about to move this commercial into M for mature range.

Meanwhile, a hatless Wilson continues pitching with a strong part, You Tube teases 3D on my computer and Katie’s still clutching her man in the outfield, as if right field is run amok by crank and body shots. By that way, that isn’t Andrew Romine or Howie Kendrick in the infield, aka the Angels version of Trammell/Whitaker.

I’ll give Wilson and Hamilton credit. As bad as this was, it looks like an Academy Award winner compared to those Howard TV commercials with Howie Kendrick.

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2 Responses to “C.J. Wilson and Josh Hamilton Star in Awful Commercial”
  1. Bluehair says:

    “Crank” and body shots! You told me not to look up that word for fear of bleeding eyeballs!

  2. will the thrill says:

    Put you’re damn hat back on and worry about winning a damn game

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