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August 28, 2008 at 1:47 am ET
Bugs and Cranks Top 30: Week 22

Greetings, salutations and welcome to another fun-filled week of the most accuratest, insightfulest, entertainingest and bestest MLB rankings to be found on the internets and beyond, The Bugs & Cranks Top 30.

This week, in the spirit of Back To School Days, we have several newcomers to B&C joining us for maybe the first time, it’s hard to keep track of them all.

In addition to your weekly moderators — David Chalk, Steve Hulkower, Spencer Kyte and Robotto Clemente — we are joined by B&C upperclassmen Herija Green and Andy Smith. Then there’s Adam Charles who’s been here since March, so I guess we’ll call him a transferring sophomore. In the role of Principal Seymour Belding we have Hampton Stevens.

As for the incoming freshmen, please welcome Gavin “Princeton” Byrnes, Tyler “Bill” Maas, Jeremy “Goldie” Hawn, and Jack Hittinger. (Hittinger? I am hardly knowing her!)

Jack and Goldie actually missed the deadline — late work will receive no credit boys — but you are still subject to hazing.

Oh, and what hazing there has been! You think Chalk’s gloating about his beloved Devil Rays is bad? All week, anytime he and Robotto saw any of the new kids — and occasionally people they just didn’t recognize — they were blowing their little whistles and screaming, “Air Raid, bitches! Air raid!”

Immunity could only be gained by submitting to a few whacks from Spencer’s custom-made maple-leaf covered paddle — The Fah-Q, Eh!

Ah, these are truly glory days. Somehow we found time to also watch some baseball and compile the rankings. Check ‘em out and enjoy….

2008 Bugs & Cranks Top 30
Rank Team Comments Pvs Change
1 The line to apologize to Chalk starts behind Ed Valentine. 1 -
2 Peaked too soon? 2 -
3 Might not make the playoffs this year, but making sure the Yankees don’t either is pretty darn sweet. 4 +1
4 October can’t come fast enough. 3 -1
5 Since when are there two teams in Chicago? 5 -
6 There’s a rumor they hit a home run last week. We don’t believe it. 6 -
7 The Brewers are fresh off a three game sweep of Pittsburgh that, when adjusted for difficulty, is worth one win. 7 -
8 If 2006 was Karma paying them back for 2004, then what the heck is this year all about? 9 +1
9 Time to rebuild. This isn’t supposed to be funny. Their run is over. It’s time to rebuild. 8 -1
10 For four years running, the best MLB team in Canada. 11 +1
11 New York Mets: “Here Phillies, you take first place”
Philly: “No, you take it New York.”
12 +1
12 Name another division-leading team whose starting left fielders over the course of a season have included five utility infielders, 4 utility outfielders, two minor league infielders, and a broken cadaver. Go ahead. We’ll wait. 10 -2
13 They traded for one bullpen arm because they thought they were still in it this year? First, define “still in it” in context of a fourth place team. Second, ONE BULLPEN ARM IS GOING TO CHANGE THAT?!?! 14 +1
14 No one to blame but themselves. The road ahead couldn’t be easier. 13 -1
15 Cabrera still fat, Sheffield still crazy, The Gambler still old. This isn’t going to get better. 19 +4
16 You couldn’t beat Carl Pavano? Orioles magic, my ass! 16 -
17 The Diamondbacks are the 17th best team, yet lead their division. It’s kind of like getting straight A’s at Devry and bragging to your friends who go to Harvard. 17 -
18 The little known fact: The Tribe has a 7-game winning streak through Sunday. More known fact: so what? 20 +2
19 Don’t get used to this bunch. 18 of them are eligible for salary arbitration after the season and we all know how Florida rolls. 18 -1
20 Nolan Ryan unveiled his plan to fix the Rangers’ pitching. Step 1: Unretire. Step 2: Dominate. Step 3: Ice cream and pain killers. 15 -5
21 Team-leading Jack Cust has 23 home runs and 56 RBI. Can he get some baserunners please? 22 +1
22 KC Royals Let’s see, which is more painful to watch. The Royals suffering through a 7-game losing streak or Chiefs’ pre-season football? It’s a toss-up. Hey, when do the Olympics start? 21 -1
23 The Pirates should offer a season ticket plan that allows you to buy seats just for the games that Paul Maholm pitches. 25 +2
24 Poised to make us suffer through another Rocktober. 24 -
25 Watching the Little League World Series way more intently than anybody else. 27 +2
26 Big-Red-Machine resembling Little-Engine-That-Could. Except it can’t. 26 -
27 They take them off TBS, and they fall off the face of the Earth. 23 -4
28 Maybe Shaun Alexander can play first in his spare time. 28 -
29 The only team that can still make Barry Zito look like a Cy Young Award winner. 29 -
30 131 games, 109 batting orders. Where’s Billy Martin’s hat? 30 -
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4 Responses to “Bugs and Cranks Top 30: Week 22”
  1. Dave Carr, Manchester, UK says:

    Wait a minute. Just before the Diamondbacks got swept by the Padres, the Giants swept the Padres. This surely makes the Giants the best team in the NL West – for what that’s worth anyway.

  2. Kyle says:

    Who makes these rankings? There seems to be absolutely no justification behind them. Cubs and Brewers have the two best records since All-Star break, but yet not one of them are even in the top three? Angels and Red Sox have been sliding a bit in the past week, but yet they move up? Bugs and Cranks should change name to “Crank-Heads.” seems to be more fitting.

  3. Dirty Water says:

    If you look at the team itself and not just their daily chart it’s hard to disagree with Kyle. The Cubs have the best ballclub in baseball, no question, imo. How that translates in the playoffs the future will have to decide, but for ranking purposes today they should be 1st.

    Followed by:
    The ‘other’ Sox
    Whichever NL East team decides not to choke for a month (god, what a ghastly division).

  4. Sav says:

    Gee, what moved the Cubs down a spot? The 24-6 record over their last 30? The 13 out of 14 wins on the road? The stratospheric run differential?

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