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Bugs & Cranks
September 11, 2007 at 12:01 am ET

Here I am gang, popping three cherries in one fell swoop: I went to my first game at Wrigley Field, I saw my first Cubs/Cardinals game in person, and I’m doing my first post here at Bugs & Cranks. Busy couple of days. Now that I’m done wiping away the salty tears of disappointment at the Cardinals dropping their last 4 games, I’m ecstatic to join the fine crew of writers here. Submitted for the approval of the Bugs & Cranks Society, I’d like to fill you in on my trip to Chicago.

The Good:
>>Wrigley Field.
I really enjoyed Wrigley. Intimate is the best word I can use to describe it. I was in the center field bleachers, and during batting practice Tyler Johnson was patrolling the outfield close enough that I could’ve throw something at him. (Possibly my panties.) Historic stadiums being torn down make me incredibly sad. Old Busch is gone, Yankee and Shea are going, Tiger Stadium just stands there like a decrepit old relic. Honestly, I’m glad Wrigley is still around. It made me think that this must’ve been what it was like for my Grandpa Vern and my dad to make the trip down to Sportsman’s Park. My next stadium must be Fenway.

>>Scoring the game. I finally learned how to score a game. I had the general idea of how to do it, but the last time I tried to really learn my then-boyfriend yelled at me. This time, I had a kind soul with me who showed me how it’s done. It gave me a nice distraction and probably kept me from pouring beer on the girls in front of me.

The Bad:
>>The Girls in Front of Me.
Three Cubs “fans.” Two wearing red and one in a Red Sox shirt. They spent the entire game drinking beer and finding ways to smush together so all three of them would fit in pictures they took of themselves. They also had a wonderful “fat drunk uncle at your wedding” rendition of “YMCA.”

>>The Guys Down the Row. These fine fellows were way more concerned with heckling Cardinals fans and players than watching the actual game. This brain trust really dug deep to come up with chants of “Edmonds! You suck!” and “So what? So what?” when So Taguchi was at the plate. When one of them asked me if I needed more lead to score my game, he’s lucky he didn’t get stabbed in the eye with my Cubs souvenir pencil.

>>The Middle-Aged Men in Front of and Behind Me. The man in front of me spent all game looking down the pants of the skinny member of the trio of girls, whose striped thong was visible. The man behind me kept nudging my butt with his shoe.

The Ugly:
>>My Poor Redbirds.
They looked terrible yesterday. The pitchers got lit up and the hitters couldn’t really get anything going, save for a couple nice bombs by Jimmy E and So Taguchi.

>>My Heart. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. I cannot take this kind of stress. The first 3 months were so terrible, then in July and August some kind of magic started happening. September’s been a downhill slide and yet somehow, miraculously, we are only 3 games out. We still have 7 games left between the co-leaders of the NL Central. I’d like to say I’ve given up hope, but I honestly haven’t. I am a sports optimist, almost to a ridiculous degree. And the season is not over yet.

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7 Responses to “Cherries”
  1. Last time I was at Wrigley, someone that closely resembled one of The Superfans waived a dollar at my friend Clare (not the one from Ladies…) and asked her to come up to his apartment.

    Class acts, those Cubbies.

  2. Spencer Kyte says:

    “Popping three cherries in one fell swoop”

    “Tyler Johnson was patrolling the outfield close enough that I could’ve throw something at him. (Possibly my panties.)”

    Yup, she’s definitely one of us!

    We gots a lady on board… Welcome to the Circus Andrea

  3. Adam Godson says:

    This place needs more Cardinals fans like the Yankees need more STDs, but I’ll make an exception for you since I know you’re a Ferentz-loving Hawkeyes fan.

    I’m glad you like Wrigley (the park) and have to agree that the fans there spark more of my “Fan Law” posts about how to not be a jackass at the park than any other place on earth. My favorite game is to count the Nomar/Prior/Sosa jerseys, which usually outnumber all the current players since all the fairweathers bought them in ’03.

    Welcome to the madness, let’s kill us some Cyclones!

  4. Rob I. says:

    Never been to Wrigley but Cubs fans deserve to be mired in the past. Fenway is a gem and every change has been for the better.

    I’m perfectly okay with Wrigley and Fenway being the only old stadiums allowed to stand. Yankee Stadium’s renovation in the 70’s killed the original historic stadium, Shea is a dump, and even Dodger Stadium could use a serious upgrade.

  5. spicy curry says:

    i want to throw my panties at you!

  6. Clare says:

    “Last time I was at Wrigley, someone that closely resembled one of The Superfans waived a dollar at my friend Clare (not the one from Ladies…) and asked her to come up to his apartment.”

    No, that was me.

  7. Extra P. says:

    Hey, welcome, Lady…!

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