Here I am gang, popping three cherries in one fell swoop: I went to my first game at Wrigley Field, I saw my first Cubs/Cardinals game in person, and I’m doing my first post here at Bugs & Cranks. Busy couple of days. Now that I’m done wiping away the salty tears of disappointment at the Cardinals dropping their last 4 games, I’m ecstatic to join the fine crew of writers here. Submitted for the approval of the Bugs & Cranks Society, I’d like to fill you in on my trip to Chicago.
>>Wrigley Field. I really enjoyed Wrigley. Intimate is the best word I can use to describe it. I was in the center field bleachers, and during batting practice Tyler Johnson was patrolling the outfield close enough that I could’ve throw something at him. (Possibly my panties.) Historic stadiums being torn down make me incredibly sad. Old Busch is gone, Yankee and Shea are going, Tiger Stadium just stands there like a decrepit old relic. Honestly, I’m glad Wrigley is still around. It made me think that this must’ve been what it was like for my Grandpa Vern and my dad to make the trip down to Sportsman’s Park. My next stadium must be Fenway.
>>Scoring the game. I finally learned how to score a game. I had the general idea of how to do it, but the last time I tried to really learn my then-boyfriend yelled at me. This time, I had a kind soul with me who showed me how it’s done. It gave me a nice distraction and probably kept me from pouring beer on the girls in front of me.
>>The Girls in Front of Me. Three Cubs “fans.” Two wearing red and one in a Red Sox shirt. They spent the entire game drinking beer and finding ways to smush together so all three of them would fit in pictures they took of themselves. They also had a wonderful “fat drunk uncle at your wedding” rendition of “YMCA.”
>>The Guys Down the Row. These fine fellows were way more concerned with heckling Cardinals fans and players than watching the actual game. This brain trust really dug deep to come up with chants of “Edmonds! You suck!” and “So what? So what?” when So Taguchi was at the plate. When one of them asked me if I needed more lead to score my game, he’s lucky he didn’t get stabbed in the eye with my Cubs souvenir pencil.
>>The Middle-Aged Men in Front of and Behind Me. The man in front of me spent all game looking down the pants of the skinny member of the trio of girls, whose striped thong was visible. The man behind me kept nudging my butt with his shoe.
>>My Poor Redbirds. They looked terrible yesterday. The pitchers got lit up and the hitters couldn’t really get anything going, save for a couple nice bombs by Jimmy E and So Taguchi.
>>My Heart. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. I cannot take this kind of stress. The first 3 months were so terrible, then in July and August some kind of magic started happening. September’s been a downhill slide and yet somehow, miraculously, we are only 3 games out. We still have 7 games left between the co-leaders of the NL Central. I’d like to say I’ve given up hope, but I honestly haven’t. I am a sports optimist, almost to a ridiculous degree. And the season is not over yet.