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April 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm ET
6 Comments
He is PUJOLS! You Are Like the Buzzing of Flies to Him!

Best.  Home run.  Ever.In Tuesday’s 5-3 win against the Astros, Troy Glaus had a 2-run double in the top of the 8th. Heading home, Albert Pujols slid into the catcher Towles, aiming more for Towles than the plate. Being the good guy that he is, Pujols called the Astros clubhouse after the game to apologize to Towles. Towles accepted his apology and “it was over.”

However, in Wednesday’s pre-game warm-ups, Pujols had another run-in with an Astro. Only this time it was starting pitcher Brandon Backe. It is unclear as to whether Pujols came over to the Astros to speak with Towles again or if Backe came over to Pujols on Pujols’ way to the Astros team. Either way, Backe was pretty miffed about the way Pujols kept “pressing on about it.”

Pujols replied that he wasn’t the one making a big deal about it. To which Backe said, “I felt violated. I felt like he confronted me at a wrong time. I don’t think it was very professional.”

Ummm…

What?!?! Backe wasn’t even involved Tuesday night! And Pujols didn’t engage Backe, he called Towles to apologize. Also, what in the blue hell is wrong with apologizing for something that maybe wasn’t the nicest thing to do?

Backe continued, “It’s apparent that we don’t like each other. That’s OK. There’s plenty of other people I don’t like in this game. It doesn’t matter. The competition between he and I just escalated.”

Ummm….hee…heh heh…gigglegiggle…snort…snerk…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

First of all: don’t flatter yourself, Backe. Carlos Zambrano gives the Cardinals fits. Carlos Beltran haunts our dreams. But Brandon Backe? I don’t think so.

Secondly: Need I remind you what happened to the last Astros pitcher who tangled with Pujols?

Seriously. Get out now, Backe. Before you’re a broken shell of a man who cries himself to sleep after bingeing on Entemann’s.

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6 Responses to “He is PUJOLS! You Are Like the Buzzing of Flies to Him!”
  1. Burnsy says:

    You are a soothsayer, a sayer of sooth. Pujols told Backe to call him Twojols tonight.

  2. MoonDog says:

    Watched the game last night. Backe has always come off as a little bitch. Too bad he wasn’t on the mound last night to “escalate” things with Albert. Pujols seemed to have his stroke for the first time this season, and Ankiel is continuing his good start.

    Skip Schumaker looked good last night too.

  3. I assume the “escalation” of which Backe speaks is decidedly one-sided in perception. The Albert does not dabble in feuds with mediocre pitchers on mediocre teams.

  4. markH says:

    I love the picture of Pujols heading to first with the bat in one hand. He should have just gone to the mound and beat Lidge to death with it. Would have been a mercy killing.

  5. He should have just gone to the mound and beat Lidge to death with it.

    That made me SNORT with laughter. Heeeeee.

  6. Thanks for reminding me that that “broken shell of a man” is now our closer.

    /lines up to jump off of the Walt Whitman Bridge

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