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September 23, 2008 at 10:55 am ET
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Job Hunt II: Green & Gold Boogaloo

Does he work for peanuts?Awhile back I let our faithful Boston fans know how they could audition to be Wally the Mascot. Well, listen up Oakland Athletics fans! All 5 of you! Because you (yes YOU!) can now audition to be Stomper the Mascot. I didn’t even know the Athletics had a mascot, but it’s pretty awesome that it’s an elephant named Stomper.

Some highlights of the job:
Performing at all Aテ「竄ャ邃「s Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday home games and at a select number of other games during the 2009 season.テつ (What, no Monday, Tuesday or Thursday home games?)

Performing at private parties, parades, festivals, grand openings, etc. on specified days during the week and on weekends throughout the year.テつ (Is anybody else kind of surprised you can rent the mascot for private parties?テつ That sounds like a Furrie Fetish disaster waiting to happen.)

Responsible for researching, creating and/or purchasing props and costumes for the mascot.テつ (Props and costumes?テつ Is this an ad for an S&M buddy or a children’s performer?)

Requirements include:
Candidate must be at least 5 feet 7 inches and no more than 6 feet 2 inches and weighs between 165 lbs and 225 lbs.

Interested in applying for this position must apply online AND send a DVD of a live performance along with a cover letter and rテδゥsumテδゥ.テつ (A cover letter?テつ What on earth do you write in that cover letter?)

So all of you in the Bay Area!テつ Here’s your chance!

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