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July 10, 2008 at 2:15 am ET
1 Comment
Job Hunting?

The Red Sox have the job for you!テつ They are hiring a new Wally the Mascot.テつ Now, I’ll confess… I was unaware the Red Sox had a mascot and that his name was Wally.テつ (He is only slightly less disturbing than the Phanatic.)テつ But I got an email alert from MLB.com and found out that I can audition to be Wally the Mascot!

Wally's the one on the right.

The description says the mascot must “represent the Boston Red Sox as Wally at select community and corporate events, always conducting him or herself in a professional manner during appearances.テつ Must be available in a part time hourly role on weekdays, weeknights, weekends and holidays.”

I’m curious as to how the Red Sox define “professional manner.”テつ I guess groping game attendees is out.テつ When you apply, you are required to answer the following 4 questions:

1. Yes/No: I live in the Boston area

2. Yes/No: I have experience as a mascot, theme park character or actor

3. Yes/No: I have reliable transportation

4. Yes/No: I am available to work days, nights, weekends and holidays

I like that one requirement is that you have reliable transportation. We wouldn’t want Wally to miss a game because his wife girlfriend mom won’t give him a ride to the ballpark.

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One Response to “Job Hunting?”
  1. Someone who knows says:

    I lived with a guy who was Wally a few years ago. True story. One of the other questions should be:

    5. Yes/No: I live alone

    Because you do NOT want to be the roommate of a guy who is Wally. Because he always smells bad during the season, no matter how many times he showers.

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