The news that the Washington Nationals had signed former Red Sox player-coach Julian Tavarez came on the heels of Tobin’s latest lament that the Red Sox were getting less colorful and less fun.Ã‚Â It also sadly came too late to include in Nationals Ain’t S#!t 2009.
None of that though can diminish the awesomeness of Tavarez’s candid assessment of how proud he is to be joining the Washington Nationals:
Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at four in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s four in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.
Jennifer Lopez before and after image lovingly borrowed from The Schlicken Empire’s “What Would Celebrities Look Like If They Were Fat” post.