Beyond my passion for penning near-readable blog posts, I enjoy the finer things in life Ã¢â‚¬â€œ baseball, insufferable puns and poorly crafted Photoshop renderings. YouÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re cordially invited to indulge in the infusion of all of those things each and every Friday. So come in, and enjoy a private gallery viewing on this most glorious Photoshop Friday.
“Lew Ford Honda & Mercury” – What does a struggling former MLBer do once his career options run low? Taken out of the Twins starting lineup, later released and cast off to Japanese baseball where he was to be dropped in favor of Kevin Mench*, Lew Ford’s fall from grace was a swift one. As easy as a Wikipedia search would be, I like to imagine Ford uses his name to his advantage – to open a Ã‚Â Honda and Mercury dealership.Ã‚Â
“Burt Blylevened Bread” – Burt Blyleven’s stock is high after his role with the Dutch Masters in the recent World Baseball Classic. With a renewed reputation and just one chance left to qualify for the Hall of Fame, it looks to be an important year for Blyleven. But wouldn’t a line of levened bread be the icing on the cake? This writer thinks so. Should the hall not come calling, here’s a fall back plan for Burt… he could even use the name and logo – for a price… or free bread.
“Kirby’s Dreamland” – I used to play this Gameboy game called Kirby’s Dreamland when I was a kid. The game’s lead character, the aptly-named, Kirby would swell to over double his previous size and violently blow when angered. Kirby Puckett wasn’t far from that. As bad as I feel writing ill of the dead, it seemed as Kirby’s size grew exponentially, his temper also doubled in size. As a Midwestern kid without a World Series hero to call my own, I looked directly Westward to bask in Puckett’s majesty. My glove – the one I used into high school – held Kirby’s embriodered signature… but when I dig that glove from a buried basket in my apartment from time to time as needed, I no longer think of that player and how he carried a small market team to two World Series appearances – I think of a career and life cut too short, a dark and abusive conclusion to what began such a bright brilliant introduction to Kirby Puckett. It’s quite sad actually… so, uh, yeah… have a good weekend.
(* expect a recurring B&C feature about Mench’s Asian baseball experience)
Update: Landon has informed me Blyleven’s name is spelled “Bert.” Please deduct the necessary amount of points for that maldoing. Come Photoshop Friday, I take the spell check off as part of my artistic process. I’m astonished I even had Blyleven spelled correctly.